The Best Of Friends
by Lissome Dalliance
Summary: I remember waking her up by jumping up and down on our bed. I remember running after her in our back yard, tackling her to the ground and throwing mud at her. I remember falling in love with her.
1. Chapter 1

My mother and hers met each other in college, being roommates nonetheless. Their friendship grew and prevailed after their studying years were over. Their relationship was held by a very close bond - so close, they decided to go on with their lives, side by side.

My family had a propriety in a small town just outside of California, so taking matters into their own hands, our parents decided to combine business with pleasure, uniting the two families. We did everything together: since celebrating special occasions to making small trips to the beach.

Being the two babies of the family, we were pretty attached. Unlike most kids, we had two mothers and fathers. I could go over the little wooden door that separated my house from hers any day. Better yet, our houses.

Our childhood flew by with lots of strained ankles, tear stained cheeks, but most importantly, laughter. Our adolescence – pretty much the same. Until I realized something.

We had been best friends ever since I could remember. I remember waking her up by jumping up and down on our bed. I remember running after her in our back yard, tackling her to the ground and throwing mud at her. I remember being clobbered in the head and soaped with water from our green hose; and yelling at her for that. I remember her smiling at me before bursting out in laughter. That beautiful laughter that always made my day. I remember falling in love with her.

Back when we were four, she played with her sunshiny Barbie doll while I tried to save the world from utter destruction with my Action Man figures.

Back when we were eleven, she invited her friends over to play Truth or Dare while me and the guys played video games.

Back when we were fourteen, we drove each other crazy with stupid senseless fights that always ended up in tickling sessions.

Back when we were seventeen, I admitted to myself that my heart belonged to her.

Back on the other day, she left.

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_"Yashie, can you help me with this?"_

_"I told you not to call me that Kags!"_

_"But why? I let you call me Kags!"_

_"That's different!"_

_"It's not!"_

_"It is!"_

_"Not!"_

_"Is so!"_

_"Not!"_

_"Is so!"_

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We never really talked about it. She could never come to say "it". To everyone else's eyes, she was my sister. To me, she was so much more. I never thought that that unmerciful need I had to protect her was more than just a "brotherly" thing.

When we were kids, we used to sleep in the same bed together, and therefore, the routine settled in our lives. But growing up where we did, we finally realized that maybe that was not a normal thing for adolescents to do. Our parents didn't suspect a thing. They strongly believed that we were nothing more than non-related siblings – they had no reason to doubt it. But we knew better. We knew how we felt for each other, even if we didn't want to admit it. And we knew that we needed to stop.

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_"I told you it was nothing special!" _

_"Oh yeah, then why are you that bothered? If it meant nothing you shouldn't be worried!"_

_"What do you want me to tell you? That it was the most horrific experience of my life?"_

_"Yes, exactly!"_

_"Well, it wasn't! Gods why do you always worry so much about that kind of thing? I'm not a little girl anymore!"_

_"Yeah, even if sometimes you act like one…" _

_"Fine! You really want me to say it? He kissed me!"  
…_

_"And I let him…"_

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It all started on her seventeenth birthday.


	2. Chapter 2

That morning she had woken up earlier, stumbling down the stairs with her purple turtle slippers, holding the wooden handrail for support. I had asked her to stay with me, for the night at least, since there would probably only be glimpses of her throughout the day. We didn't speak. There was nothing I could tell her. Yet so much I wanted to.

I watched as she slowly walked down the stairs, talking on the phone with someone. Probably someone I knew _very _well.

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_"You mean you can score from here? That's pretty far from the basket…" _

_"Yep, I'm the best around babe."_

_"Dream on idiot! My butt you're gonna hit it!"_

_"Just watch mutt-face!"_

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Her rich icy skin was gleaming, the fresh scent of her still wet hair flooding through the light breeze coming in from the opened windows. Her light blue dress waving as she slid down the stairs. She was breathtaking.

And all because of _him_.

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_"Do you need a bib? Because I can happily go and get one for you."_

_"Oh don't be a jerk! I just thought he was cute, that's all."_

_"Please, you were almost making a pool with all the drool coming out of your mouth!"_

_"I was not! And if I was, could you blame me? Kouga is very attractive…"_

_"What do you find that is so damn attractive in a jerk like him? He's only trying to get in your pants! Or are you so stupid that you can't even see that?"_

_"Inuyasha!"_

_"But then again, you don't even mind right?"_

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Since that Godforsaken day in the park, she had been running after him like a lost puppy, taking any chance to show just how right she was about him. About who he was. About what he wanted. Back then, I didn't even know of my feelings for her. She didn't either. But for some reason, even if for the wrong reason, seeing her opening up so much with some idiot that didn't even care about her made my blood boil. Even if I didn't know him. I didn't trust him.

After that, it had been a travel over heels, pushing her further away. They started seeing each other a few weeks later.

And so did I. I couldn't concentrate on anything but her, and I didn't know why. I didn't know why my vision blurred when I saw her hugging him. I didn't know why I felt the need to punch the walls until my knuckles were sore when I saw her kissing him. After a while I realized that maybe, I needed to fight fire with fire.

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_"'Kay honey, don't worry I'll be there… Ok Love you too."_

_…_

_"So how is Kikyou?"_

_"Oh- Hi Kags, didn't see you there."_

_"You did see me. You just pretended that you didn't."_

_"Look Kagome, I'm in a hurry, so could you please tell me what you want?"_

_"Me? Oh Nothing. Just wanted to talk to my big brother and I see how things were doing with his new girlfriend . So how many this month? Twenty?"_

_"Shut up. You don't know a damn thing about her!"_

_…_

_"Do you really care for her, that much?"_

_…_

_"More than that stupid brain of yours could ever understand."_

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How could I make you understand?


	3. Chapter 3

Maybe I was just imagining things. Maybe it was my hopeful mind that kept wandering to where it shouldn't. My sick mind. The one that longed and ached for my own sister. For the last months I hadn't been able to get one good night of sleep because of her. I saw her everywhere. I pictured her everywhere. I felt her everywhere.

People kept telling me how one resembled the other. I couldn't see it. Kikyou was beautiful but Kagome was gorgeous. Kikyou was kind but Kagome was the sweetest, most gracious creature to wander on Earth.

People reminded me of how lucky I was to have found someone that cared so much and so deeply. To have found someone that would put everything before herself. Someone much like Kagome.

People joked that, unlike popular belief, I wasn't seeking for a new mother in the relationship, but a new sister.

So little did they know.

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_"Do you mind if I come in?"_

_"Yeah, actually, I do."_

_…_

_"Inuyasha-"_

_"What?"_

_"-I-I'm sorry for saying that about you and Kikyou the other day, I-I really didn't mean to in-"_

_"No, don't."_

_"W-What?"_

_"Don't you think you've said enough?"_

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Her birthday flew by. Her seventeenth birthday.

I can barely remember it, just a small moment registered in my mind, branded in my soul. Our families put everything together – it was like her sweet sixteen all over again.

She couldn't have asked for more. She had everything and everyone she needed by her side. She was happy, wearing the same smile I've seen her sharing since she took her first breath. And how I hated to succumb to every whish she whispered from those laughter-filled lips. How I wanted to make her stop. Make her understand. Force her to break down.

I followed her trail, every corner she took. She wouldn't understand.

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_"You got a problem idiot? Or are you gonna stare at me all night?"_

_"I'm not the one with the problem mutt-face. And you're not exactly a sight for sore eyes! Why would I be looking at you?"_

_"Well maybe you're finally coming out of the closet. Can't blame you really. With a guy like me around… But sorry to disappoint you, the feeling's not mutual."_

_"…Oh, is that so?"_

_"Yeah, better luck next time imbeci-" _

_"You can babble all you want, you filthy vermin, but that's not gonna change the fact that Kagome chose me."_

_…_

_"Not you."_

_"Shut up."_

_"How does it feel? How does it feel to know that I'm the one she comes to when she wants comfort? How does it feel to know that she lets me touch her?"_

_"Shut up!"_

_…_

_"How does it feel to know I'll be the one she'll be with toni-"_

_…_

_"O-Oh My God! Inuyasha!"_

_"Inuyasha stop it!"_

_"Kouga! Stop this right now!"_

_"Gods somebody, please, separate them!"_

_"Dad come quick!"_

_"P-Please Kouga let go of him!"_

_"Inuyasha!"_

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I didn't even care about the pain. Back then, all I could think about was her. All I could see was her. He wasn't worth it, and I knew it. But she was and I wouldn't let her get hurt. Of course she took his side. She didn't know what he was saying. Or planning.

But then again, she never would- he would never come so close as to lay a finger on her. I would make sure of it.

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_"Careful."_

_"I can see the goddamned steps woman!"_

_"Do you want me to trip you down the stairs?"_

_…_

_"Why?"_

_"Why what?"_

_"Why were you two fighting?"_

_…_

_"I asked you a question Inuyasha!"_

_"You can drop the act Kagome."_

_"What?"_

_"Please, what the hell are you even doing in here with me? You would much rather be taking care of your beloved boyfriend."_

_"Well maybe because your beloved girlfriend isn't here to take care of you!"_

_…_

_"Inuyasha-"_

_"Get out."_

_"I-Inu I'm sor-"_

_"Get out!"_

_⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9_

I felt anger. Rage. Hatred almost. Was I even capable of hating her? Was it even worth it? I was tired. I had been brought to my knees, and no one could see it. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and no one would hear it. She wouldn't hear it. I was used to her talking down to Kikyou. I knew she didn't like her. And even though it was wrong, I felt some sort of relieve to know that maybe, just somewhere in her soul, that was a tiny bit of jealousy growing in her.

But I heard something else behind her words. Not only did she make me feel even more pathetic for not having a shoulder to cry on, but also she didn't care. She was not there because she wanted to. She was there because no one else was.

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I had been a sleep for at least two hours when I heard a timid knock on the door.

_"Inuyasha?" _Her eyes were watery and half-lidded. Begging me for forgiveness. She closed the door behind her before holding onto the folds of her dress, as if to support herself. I could see that she had been crying. And she was on the verge of it again.

_"I'm so sorry."_ She said between soft sobs. She walked closer to bed looking between me and the floor, asking for permission. I transmitted no emotion whatsoever.

She sat down on the edge of the soft mattress, fisting the sheets in her hands, looking at the window.

_"Please." _I could see her chocolate eyes gleaming and lightly shifting, her lips trembling, being punished by the teeth that bit hard on them.

I don't remember much after that.

What I do remember is getting up.

I remember walking closer to her.

I remember bending down on the floor so my eyes were leveled with hers.

I remember lifting her chin and meeting her red watery eyes.

I remember telling her I forgave her.

I remember her throwing herself at me.

And I can still remember the warm feel of her lips against mine.

Her mouth moved with mine shyly at first. Our lips barely grazed. Her arms around my neck prevented me from moving away. Her tears slid down her face, mixing with the honey taste of her full lips, making them bittersweet. I brought one of my hands to her back bringing her impossibly close, while the other tangled in her soft strands of hair, pulling her neck forward, deepening the kiss even further.

I couldn't get to her in any other way. And it scared me more than I could even come to imagine.


	4. Chapter 4

She cried on my shoulder for the rest of the night, my arms wrapped securely around her making sure she wouldn't lose balance from the intense way her body shook. My hand found its way to her black tresses, stroking them softly, massaging her scalp from time to time. She seemed to calm at this, her breathing leveling and her sobs coming out slowly. I was getting calmer too, the adrenaline rushing out of my body, being replaced by the need to comfort and protect her.

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I smelled the salty tears welling up in her eyes again, her hands finding mine. She lowered her head. My heart clenched at her words.

_"I just don't know anymore."_

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After a while, I sensed her heart-beat appease. Her body wasn't shaking anymore, the tension leaving her mistreated muscles. My eyes glanced down at her sleeping form, her fingers unconsciously tangling on the collar of my shirt. To think that a few hours ago she was clinging to me the same way.

I closed my eyes, taking in a long deep breath of her perfume, a sheet of sweat tangling with her natural scent. I traced her spine with my finger, watching as she sighed and twitched in her sleep. I smiled adjusting our bodies on the soft sofa, her head resting on the crook of my neck, making her warm breath caress my skin.

I didn't want to do things this way.

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_"I'm so sorry honey, but I really have to go to the family's dinner. Dad will kill me if I don't."_

_"That's alright. I know you don't really have a lot of time in your hands anyway."_

_"…I'll try to show up, but I wouldn't count on it."_

_"No. Don't rush things with them just to come here. I know you've been meaning to patch things up with your parents for a while now."_

_"…If you say so. Anyways, have fun at your sister's birthday!" _

_"…Yeah. I'm sure I will."_

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She didn't deserve that. She was one of the kindest girls I had ever met. Actually, she wasn't a girl. She was a woman. She had the maturity of someone who had been through enough in life. And even though her life wasn't hell on earth, it wasn't a bed of roses either.

Kikyou had been there for me when I was at rock bottom. She hadn't really expected anything, and yet, I couldn't come to love her like she did.

She had never done anything to hurt anyone. I could swear her heart was as pure as a raindrop. There was no flaw that could be pointed at her.

And I could make a list of those about Kagome.

Kagome could be sweeter, kinder, more beautiful, but she was also childish, spoiled and a little irritating. Gods she could drive me insane sometimes! That unreachable perfection she displayed so easily made me wonder if she just acted like that around me. And yet, those moments were the ones when I felt more connected to her. When the electricity jolts rushed through me and lit my eyes on fire.

I loved her for the way she hugged me when I sprained my ankle when we were little, but I also loved her for the way she mocked me after.

I loved her for everything she was.

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_"Mother, do you know where Kagome is?" _

_"Huh, no sweetie. She got up early this morning, and with a horrible look on her face by the way. Why? Is something wrong?"_

_"…No, nothing wrong with that."_

_"…Are you su-"_

_…_

_"What the hell was that?"_

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It was like an instinct to look for her when I woke up. I hadn't even opened my eyes yet, and I had the faint impression that something was not right. I let my sleepy eyes open. To find her missing.

I immediately got up, the sudden move making my head spin. Taking in the fresh scent of the room, I couldn't detect her dainty one.

She had been gone for a while.

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_"-not to go in there! Oh, I'm so sorry Mrs. Takahashi; this young man let himself in without even asking!"_

_"What the fuck did you do?"_

_"Manners Kouga! That's alright, thank you Aiko."_

_…_

_"Now will you calm down and tell us what you came here for sweetie?"_

_"No I won't fucking calm down! What did you do to her mutt-face?"_

_"... I'm not in the mood dog-breath. So you better say whatever the hell you came here to say before I have to rip your goddamned eyes off!"_

_"Just try you disgusting dog-"_

_"Kouga! You will watch your language or I will have to ask you to leave."_

_…_

_"That's alright Mrs. Takahashi. Just came here to let dog-boy know of the news."_

_"Being…"_

_"Kagome left."_

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I gripped the steering wheel to the point of breaking, the wounds on my knuckles reopening, blood peeking out of them. I could still hear my mother's screams as I punched his face against the wall, the maids' horrified whimpers floating to my ears. I just didn't care anymore. My eyes burned as I lifted him from the ground and looked straight into his bleeding ones.

_"Where?" _My voice was laced with darkness I didn't even know I had inside me. I felt the blood running through my veins heating up, almost burning my insides. I could only see deep crimson by then.

_"Half Moon Bay" _I clenched my fist hard. He wouldn't be waking up for a few days.

I hit the brakes hard, the blur of the outside images adding spite to my demonic urges. Letting the cold wind wash my face, I saw nothing more than red flashes of the waves' furious attack on the imposing boulders.

The smell of my blood filled my nostrils, enticing my demon side further. I could almost see his terrifying smile, thirsting for more.

I groaned taking a deep breath, my eyes returning to their natural golden color. I was in control. On the inside though, that was a different story.

A devilish smirk forced its way to my lips.

_You're not going anywhere Kagome._


	5. Chapter 5

For three days that was all I did. I watched her.

I memorized every route she took, every face she talked to, anyone who would look at her for more than five seconds. My body stiffened whenever I saw her walking by. And poor little innocent Kagome didn't even know.

But I could tell she was afraid. Whenever she got out she would look everywhere, making sure no one would tackle her on the next corner she turned. She would try to be unnoticed, dressing in non-revealing clothes, walking with her head down, her bangs hiding her innocent eyes from the world.

That was my girl, always careful.

Just not careful enough.

I never knew it would come to this. I never even imagined I would be stalking my own _sister. _I just couldn't think of losing her.

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_"Just go straight ahead and then turn on the first right."_

_"Okay, thank you."_

_"But may I ask why you want to know miss? No one has gone to that inn for at least seven years now."_

_"Exactly."_

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Pretty clever you could say. I would never think of looking for her in an inn. Then again I couldn't even come to imagine our little princess sleeping outside. She just wasn't tough enough to live on the streets. Even if it was in the sunny fresh beaches of Half Moon Bay.

Mother called me a few minutes after I left the house, worried for her and my own sake. She mentioned that the wolf had been taken to the hospital. I couldn't care less about that…

And that Mrs. Higurashi had come by, agitated for not knowing where her daughter was and for the money that had been taken from their little wooden box buried in the garden. Now that was interesting.

I could hear her cries and my mother's soothing words while Aiko desperately tried to reassure them that she was okay. She saw her running to the bus stop early in the morning, taking the first that came by. More juicy news.

The last thing my mother whispered on the phone was a begging not to hurt my sister.

Oh, of course not.

I would never hurt my beloved _sister_.

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_"I've been working as a bus driver since my damned cat died in 1998! You really think I can remember faces man?"_

_"…Will one large do?"_

_"…Maybe it will refresh my memory…"_

_…_

_"Oh yes, I remember her. A short brunette? Waist length hair? Baby blue hoodie?"_

_"Sounds about right."_

_"I'm not sure where she went… She got out a few stops after. But she did ask me where huh- I don't know the place… It's something to do with-huh-"_

_"Half Moon Bay?"_

_"Huh-no. It was huh- Something to do with bulls…"_

_"…Rodeo Cove?"_

_"Yeah, something like that."_

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So she lied to her beloved boyfriend, huh? Then again, she didn't want to be found, so there was no point in telling him. And to think that she almost fooled me too.

I slammed the brakes hard the moment I heard Aiko's information, the tires scratching the cement road, taking off in the opposite direction. I smirked, blasting the wheels in full speed. Of course that was too easy. It would be like leaving cookie crumbs behind. Like begging me to find her.

She wanted time. She knew the wolf would come to me to demand explanations. And she knew I'd make him spill it out.

She just didn't know I wouldn't fall into her sneaky scheme.

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_"Oh no please, there's no need for that. All I want are the keys-"_

_"But let me accompany you to our facilities young lady-"_

_"Look, I-I'm very grateful for all the hard work you and your husband have put into this so that my stay here is as great as possible but-"_

_"Yes and please tell us if anything is not according to your tastes!"_

_"I'm sure everything will be just fine. I-I'm just exhausted from the trip here. All I want is a nice hot bath and a bed, so if you'll be so kind-"_

_"I can prepare a sauna for you!"_

_"No!"_

_…_

_"O-Oh I-I'm so s-sorry, I didn't-"_

_"I-I understand miss. It's been a while since we've had someone staying in here. You know how bad tourism is nowadays! I guess we're not used to it anymore. And I should be the one apologizing."_

_"Oh please no. It's okay, I just overreacted."_

_"…Anyway, here's your key. Your room is huh-ah yes, number 6, second floor, on the far away left. I'm guessing you don't need me to show you the way."_

_"…Right. Well huh- good night then."_

_"A good night to you too. Oh and scream if you need anything."_

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I inhaled the night breeze, coming in from the opened window, only to get drugged by the alluring scent that still lingered in my clothes from the night before. Inside my mind, that was all I heard. The demonic voice in my head had calmed down throughout the day, never completely extinguishing, but letting aside the very lucid thoughts of what she would have to deal with once I found her.

But it all came rushing back when the perfume of her skin mingled with the cold gust of the waves. I guided myself through the streets, following her scent, stopping abruptly when it got stronger. I closed my eyes, slowly trying to understand the whispers coming from the small wooden inn hidden by the trees, her sweet voice reaching me and making me smirk at her tone. She was desperate.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

My gaze followed her every move. She squished the small bag under her arm, probably running some errand for the old lady that owned the inn. Her and her big heart. That would be the death of her.

She ran past the car, never once noticing it. Another mistake Kagome.

I had been watching her for three days through the dark windows, never leaving the car. She was suspicious, I could tell, but she didn't know why. She would look around every time she left the inn, biting her lip with nervousness.

Oh and how I loved seeing her like that.

I didn't give anything away for a while, luring her into that false sense of security that would make her lower her guard. But today, I wanted her scared. I wanted her fearing. I wanted to see her tremble with the not-knowing.

_"Don't worry dear, we'll be back before you know it! It's just a couple of hours anyway. And besides, you know no one will come by the inn! And at night nonetheless! They haven't for years, they're not gonna start now!"_

I watched intently as the old couple left through the small doors.

I waited until they got in the car.

And left.

I felt my lips turn up into a demonic smile.

My eyes bleeding red.

* * *

_And this chapter is dedicated to my fresh new source of inspiration and one of my dearest friends Vera (yes, you are kind of crazy... not like that, but you're pretty close .p) :) LOVE YOU SWEETIE!_


	6. Chapter 6

The calm scent of the lavender candles reached me the minute I walked inside the wooden house. My mind was foggy from the warm atmosphere, the cold from the outside marine breeze suddenly forgotten. I inhaled the dainty perfume of the small room, a sweet scent of vanilla and honeysuckle spreading through my system, warming the blood in my veins. I smiled lifting my eyes from the old floor, following her trail.

All I could hear were the sounds of the mild wind slipping through the cracks in the fragile walls, feeding the flames in the fireplace and making the burning ashes of the wood crack. A few seconds later, I picked up the sound of soft humming. She was singing.

I let my claws trail the wood outlines of the staircase, my eyes never leaving the dimmed aisle that led to the source of the delicious scent. Slowly walking through the corridor, her voice got louder. I reached the last door, effortlessly unlocking the old knob that was keeping me from her.

The dainty perfume of her skin hit me full-force, my hand griping the door handle to the point of breaking. My eyes fluttered close, the burning in my chest returning. She was still oblivious to my presence. I closely watched as she folded some shirts and put them in a small traveling bag. She was leaving again.

I smirked closing the door behind me.

The locking click making her body paralyze and stiffen.

She didn't have to turn around for me to hear the broken whisper that left her lips.

_"Inuyasha"_

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_"Sweetie, if you find her, please tell her we're all so worried. Whatever it is that made her do this, for sure isn't as bad as she's making it seem!"_

_"Don't worry Mom, I'll tell her."_

_"…Good luck Honey."_

_…_

_"I won't be the one who needs luck."_

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I could drown in the fear that was coming out of her in waves, her breathing shaking. I smirked leaning against the door, my own breathing getting labored. I let my claws dig in the palms of my hands, trying to restrain the last bit of power my demon had, locked away.

I watched her warily turn around, her eyes lowered and wide. She was terrified.

I felt my lips turn up into a devilish smirk, the blood red blurring the last golden light of my eyes. I felt my muscles clench, adrenaline spreading through my body, making it pulse. I lifted my eyes one last time to watch her beautiful features contort in panic.

_"I-Inu-" _One minute I was leaning against the door, the next I had her against the cold wall, my body smashing hers. She let out a small cry as her head it the wood, her eyes fluttering close from the force. I could almost see her head spin. And yet, I couldn't care less.

My hand fisted in the back of her head, roughly griping her black tresses and pulling them back. She let out a little whine as I buried my nose in her neck, the closeness of her putting my mind in overdrive. I breathed in her scent, fear lacing with her candy-like perfume.

_"Leaving already?"_ She gasped from the dark tone of my voice. I could feel her heart pounding under her skin, her hands trembling against my chest. She started squirming, trying to get free. I didn't give her any time for that though.

_"P-Please d-don't." _Hearing her plead, her voice shaky from fear, made my blood boil even more, the dark voice in my head taking things into its own hands.

I felt my fangs growing, lightly grazing her pale skin. She whimpered as I made my way up her neck, my lips almost tasting the blood running in her veins. I nipped at her jaw line, a soft moan leaving her lips. I felt my mouth capture hers, my hand bringing her forward to deepen the kiss. But she didn't comply. And things got worse.

I groaned, warning her to obey. She kept her lips shut tightly, her hands desperately trying to push me away harder than before. I smirked. It was futile.

I felt one salty tear mingle with our lips, making me back away a little. I slowly opened my eyes to see her half-lidded ones hurt. We were only a few inches apart, her breath caressing my lips. She was gasping, her heart threatening to explode from her body.

_ "I-I c-can't-" _Her words were muffled by the scream that pierced through the warm room as soon as my fangs buried themselves in her neck and my claws impaled her frail body. She let her head collapse against my shoulder, her last ounce of strength getting drained from her body.

And then she said it.

_"Y-Ya-shie-"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"So here's the deal. I'll go and distract Aiko while you go to the kitchen, kay?"_

_"What if she sees me?"_

_"She won't!"_

_"But what if she does?"_

_"…Well, if she does then we're in a pickle."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I glanced at her sweaty form, her breathing leveling and her body calming down. She looked into my eyes, chest heaving from the feelings I forced on her. That _I_ forced on her. That I _forced_ on her.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"I don't know…"_

_"Oh come one Kags, we're in this together!"_

_…_

_"Do you want the chocolate chip muffins?"_

_…_

_"Do you?"_

_"…I want the chocolate chip muffins…"_

_"Okay then let's do it!"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I let myself stumble across the small room, my body hitting the small center table and breaking some porcelain statuette that I held on to.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"-S-see? I t-told y-you we could d-do it!"_

_"Y-yeah, a-and n-now we have a v-very angry A-Aiko running after us!"_

_"- I-I know! I-isn't t-this fun?"_

_"Ha-ha- y-yeah!"_

_…_

_"W-we'll b-be together i-in everything, r-right Yashie?"_

_…_

_"Y-Yeah!"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I felt the burning inside my head fading, my eyes returning to their natural golden color. I watched as my claws retrieved, my bloodied fangs shortening. Slowly, I glanced up at her concerned form. She was looking everywhere, her lips being punished by her teeth. Her preoccupied gaze finally landed in me, her body moving slightly forward.

_"Y-Yashie?"_

…

_What have I done?_


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up with the soft sounds of the waves wetting the golden sand, the gibber of the seagulls almost painfully loud to my ears. I could feel heat seeping from my clothes with every failed movement, the gushing wind easing the burning sensation. I tried to open my eyes, the piercing rays of light preventing me from doing so. I moved my hands against the semi-wet ground, the rough texture of the grains of sand scratching my skin.

Taking in a deep breath I recognized the fresh scent of the salty water. And hers.

I opened my eyes slowly, the cloudiness being pinched out by the bright daylight. I could hear soft whispers coming from far away, shadows of people talking on the other side of the bay. Tilting my head to the side, I saw the large boulders adorning the sight.

I tried to get up, the soreness of my muscles making the task difficult, my elbows taking in all the weight of my body. As soon as my eyes found the foaming waves, the echoing of her giggling flew to me.

I rubbed my face, the hard grazing grains helping me wake up.

She was there. And she was laughing.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"I-Inu-"_

_"Leaving already?"_

_"P-Please d-don't."_

_…_

_"I-I c-can't-"_

_…_

_ "Y-Ya-shie-"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I breathed hard, the faint memories of the previous night haunting my head. I felt the throbbing sensation returning to my eyes, my demon blood anxious. I growled impaling my claws in my arm, eventually calming it down.

As soon as I looked up, she stopped. Stopped moving, breathing. I took in her sight, her hair sprawling in the wind, her light blue shirt molding to her body from the water that had splashed. She turned to me slowly, her eyes never meeting mine. I saw her bending down to pick up a little vase that was now filled with the salty marine water.

She walked closer to me, the traitorous sands enabling her from moving faster, her feet getting buried. I saw her fastening her pace as she closed on me, a bright smile appearing on her face. I furrowed my brows, trying to crawl as far away from her as I could. I saw her beautiful eyes getting wide, then hurt, then mad.

"Thank God you're okay!" She threw herself at me, her body crashing against mine, making us fall back. She closed her hands hard against my neck, her ragged breathing bringing the forsaken memories again. A few seconds after, I saw a dark blush appearing in her cheeks, her hands desperately trying to get her up. She took a deep breath before kneeling in front of me and deeping a white piece of cloth in the water-filled vase. I watched her intently as she took the soaked soft fabric and brought it to my forehead, the coolness finally alerting me for my body's temperature.

"You fell asleep here. I couldn't pick you up." Her eyes softened when she saw the marks my claws had left on my arm a little while ago, almost dry blood picking out of them. She grabbed my large hand in her petit one, cleaning away the red remains.

"So you stayed here all night?" She didn't answer. But I felt her paralyze for a second before getting back to the task. I watched as she thoroughly grazed my fingers with her pale hands, the sweet way she held my wrists, lacking the force to keep them up and having to lay them in her lap. Her eyes never lifted to meet my gaze.

I felt my heart clench. I didn't deserve that.

"Why were you laughing?"

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"…N-no."_

_"Y-Yashie?"_

_…_

_"No."_

_"P-Please j-just s-say-"_

_"NO!"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

She stopped moving all together, a faint smile gracing her lips. Her small hands placed the small towel in the vase, the last drops of water running down to the sand. I let her put the cloth in my forehead again, her hand holding mine up, silently asking me to keep the wet towel there and not to let it fall. I glanced at her while she adjusted the sand pillow, I assumed she made during the night, behind my head.

"Just because." She crawled over to her yellow bag, grabbing some plastic things I couldn't see. Stumbling over to my side again, I saw her taking out a sandwich and what looked like a can of juice.

"Come on." I turned to her to see her smiling, a small green straw being held to my lips. I sent her a questioning look, which earned me a loud groan and a light slap on the arm. "You need to eat something. You've been out for more than twelve hours!" I slapped my head before trying to get up again, the plastic food being shoved in my face.

I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood. I could tell she wasn't really as happy on the inside as she was showing. Hell, how could she ever be? After what I had done to her. After what I had almost done to her.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"W-Wait! I-Inuyasha! Where are you going?"_

_…_

_"I-Inu p-please stop! D-Don't do this!"_

_…_

_"Y-Yashie?"_

_"J-Just go."_

_"…Inu I-"_

_"Just go Kagome! Leave me alone!"_

_"…W-What happened to you?"_

_…_

_"I almost raped you. That's what happened."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

Back then I really didn't know what she meant. I really didn't know she was trying to look out for me. I knew now.

I looked at her again, her brilliant chocolate eyes gleaming at me, her lips in a sweet pout. She was playing with her fingers, her hair brushing her pale skin.

I could have hurt her. I could have hurt her really bad. Hell, I already did. I glanced down at my claws again, the feel of her body still lingering. I closed my eyes remembering her cries, her tears, the way she pleaded me to stop. And I didn't.

And here she was, taking care of me, making sure I wouldn't get sick of dehydration or hunger. I closed my hand in a tight fist, my heart clenching and at the same time beating faster. How could I have done this to her?

"I turned full demon." I mumbled softly, the husky tone of my voice making her gasp. Of course she was still scared. I couldn't blame her. Her eyes sparkled from the tears that now threatened to spill. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't bear to see her crying again. Because of me.

"It wasn't your fault." My heart stopped at her whisper. She fisted her hands around mine, a soft sob escaping her lips. I closed my eyes trying to understand.

I couldn't.

There was nothing that could have prepared me for this. She should hate me. She had to hate me! I wanted her to.

As much as it would break my soul into million pieces I would accept if she never wanted to see me again. I would comprehend if she despised me for the rest of her life. I just couldn't come to accept her being okay with all of this. I couldn't accept her forgiveness.

I hurt her. In one of the worst ways I could have.

"Leave." Reuniting the last strength in my body I got up, her watery eyes following my every move. I barely saw her moving before she got up blocking my way.

"W-What?" Her body was trembling, her own voice shaking.

"I said leave Kagome." I tried to walk away from her but her angered form crushed against me.

"What do you mean leave?" Her voice became loud, confident. I could tell she was using every fiber of her body to restrain herself to jump on me and rip my lungs with her bare hands.

I closed my hands on my side with all the force I still had. I had no right to yell at her. But she was making it difficult. Why couldn't she understand it? She wasn't supposed to be the one to beg me to stay.

"It's not very difficult Kagome! How much more stupid can you get? I told you to get the hell out of my way!" I shouted making her back away a little, her hands coming to her chest as if to hold herself together.

I glanced at her through my lowered bangs, my body moving forward. Away from her.

With every step I took I heard one sob escaping her lips. With every step I took I felt the hot tear running down her flushed face. Her cries, her prayers, her shouts.

I shut my eyes tightly when I heard her moving, her legs gaining speed. Closing on me.

_No Kagome._

"You know what you inconsiderate jerk?" Her tiny fists banged on my chest, her eyes hauntingly red. "I don't care what you think you've done to me! I don't care how you think my oh so innocent mind will be tainted from what happened last night! And I for sure as hell don't care if you want me to leave you! 'Cause guess what pal? I'm not going anywhere!"

I took a deep breath containing my own anger, my hands shaking.

"I mean, who do hell do you think you are? You can't just come in here and tell me what I should or shouldn't do! You can't come in here and tell me to forget about you! You can't Inuyasha!" She kept pushing me, her small hands fisting in my shirt before hitting me.

"I didn't know! I didn't know what was happening to me! I didn't know why I wanted to be with you all the time. Why I didn't care about anything else but you anymore! Why I didn't love you just as a brother anymore!"

I clenched my jaw hard, blood threatening to seep from my hands.

"I-I needed to get away. I needed to get away from you. I-" She let her ragged breathing calm down, her voice not squeaky anymore. "I-"

I saw a faint smile appear on her face. "I-I was l-laughing because I realized s-something." New tears formed in her sparkly eyes, her hurt look pinching my lungs.

She let her body shake for a few minutes, her tears flowing freely down her cheeks. I finally looked her in the eye.

"I-I came to l-love you so much I could never even hope to put it in words." She whispered so softly I almost couldn't understand it.

But I did. I glanced at her one more time.

She was still trembling, her face wet and red. Her lips were swollen, her hair a mess. She had both arms around herself, shielding everything I could say to hurt her. And I was gonna hurt her.

Again.

I let out a loud laugh, making her look up at me worriedly.

"You can't."


	8. Chapter 8

I could hear their cries as soon as we entered the wooden doors of the property, the silence between us cracked. I saw her clenching her pale white hands around the small bag in front of her. She bit her lip in nervousness, her bangs lowering to cover her gleaming eyes. I glanced inside the mansion, the uneasy voices of our parents echoing. She was scared to see them. I was scared to see them.

She ran away.

I ran after her.

She left with no warning.

I left with my mind unclear.

I looked at her one last time before closing the large doors behind us and walking towards the courtyard. She followed a few seconds after, taking small steps at a time. I could hear her heart beating faster, her breathing getting labored. She stopped for a minute, her hand holding her chest, controlling her own emotions. I froze not looking back at her. I had no right to comfort her now. I was the one who hurt her.

"This is hard" I heard her whisper. She took in a few deep breaths before looking up. It was the first time that day I sensed her staring at me. We barely talked on our way there. There wasn't really that much to say.

She left a letter and some money to the old couple of the inn, saying goodbye and sorry for leaving so unexpectedly. We left soon after that.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Is your wound better?"_

_"…Yeah."_

_…_

_…_

_"Do you know how our family is?"_

_"…No idea."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I let my mother cry on my chest as I rubbed her hair in a soothing matter. She was sobbing uncontrollably, thanking the gods above for bringing us back. I watched Kagome getting the same attention, her own eyes shedding tears for all they were worth. I could tell things had gotten pretty tense while we were gone. My father was talking to hers and obviously settling some disagreement. I guessed it would be about whose fault it was.

I had no doubt about that.

I glanced at her again, her mother softly grazing her hair while Aiko brought her a glass of water to calm her nerves. She smiled sitting down and taking a sip with her trembling hands. She looked up at me, her watery eyes begging me to come and help her.

My eyes went elsewhere. For as much as it would hurt, I couldn't be with her. I couldn't be there to support her. She wasn't mine anymore.

She never was in the first place.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"You can't."_

_…_

_…_

_"I-I can't? W-What do y-you-?"_

_"You know what I mean Kagome."_

_"… N-No! No! I honestly don't-"_

_"You're my sister."_

_…_

_"And that's all you'll ever be."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I closed the door behind me, not even bothering to turn up the lights. I let myself fall on the large bed, the sheets cold against my skin. I haven't been in there for only five days, and yet the whole room didn't feel familiar anymore. I felt mad in the there. Disgusted. This was where she came to me with her pleading eyes after the fight with Kouga. This was where I first kissed her. Where I let my heart get the best of me. And now, things couldn't be more messed up.

Even so, I let a smile graze my lips, the memory of her cuddling against me, the way her breathing calmed as she fell asleep that night. It felt like old times. Like when we would play in the back yard for hours non-stop and then land in bed together without even cleaning the dirt that always got stuck in our young bodies. Oh and the clothes! Aiko would be furious for ruining every single piece of clothing left in our closets. She didn't know anymore if they were shirts or just old pieces of cloth she could clean the fridge with.

I brought my hands to my forehead, strong beats from the affections down stairs giving me the headache of my life. I closed my eyes for a minute before picking up the sound of the door opening. And a sweet scent I came to love so much.

_Kagome_

I shut my eyes tightly, not daring to move. I couldn't be with her right now. I couldn't talk to her. It was still too damn painful.

"You left." Her whisper came from the other side of the bedroom. She was sitting in the small grey sofa, her arms wrapping her body.

"Is everything okay?" She was lightly rocking herself back and forth, her lids quivering. I let out a small groan, silently asking her to leave. She was stubborn though.

"Yeah, just a headache." I closed my eyes again, the noises from down stairs getting quieter. Probably they were all leaving. Kouga included. I growled remembering the way the jerk was holding her while she tried to explain what happened. And the bitter victorious smirk he sent me when I looked at them. I wanted to beat the air out of his lungs again. The wounds on his face had already healed, so a few more wouldn't hurt.

"You should go. Your beloved boyfriend is leaving." I muttered darkly. I had no right to talk down to her like that. I kept telling her how much of a jerk he was. How wrong she was about him. And yet, as much of an idiot as he was, something told me he would never hurt her like I did.

"You know I don't love him." Her broken whisper made me bite my fist in anger. There was something about her voice, the way she said it, that made me want to just run away with her again. I knew that, somehow, she was asking me to.

I got up from the bed, her big round eyes following me. I took a jacket out of the closet, the blood rising to my head again, her presence on its own riling my demon. I clasped the hanger of the door, my claws starting to grow.

"Sorry to hear about that." My voice was dark and husky by then. I barely heard her taking in a sharp breath, her heart beating faster and echoing in my ears. I knew I was hurting her again. And did it hurt. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't do anything about it. I had to keep splintering her heart for her own safety.

Just then, my mother's scent reached me, her steps getting closer to the bedroom. She opened the door to greet up with a warm smile, her face visibly tired from all the days of waiting.

"Sweetie, Kikyou is downstairs." I felt her freezing, her body stiffening and locking away her own breathing. I smiled lightly, nodding as she closed the door again.

I glanced at her, her eyes widened and confused. It was like she had forgotten. I smelled the tears welling up in her eyes, her tiny hands clasping her pants with full force. I looked away from her, the waves of pain floating around her and making me want to kill myself all over again.

"T-This is hard." Her sobs mingled with her words, her voice reaching new heights again. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath of hair.

"You said that already." I clasped the doorknob, slowly opening it. I didn't want to leave her. But she needed to be left alone. She needed to learn on her own what I realized the past few days.

"N-Not the t-telling them part." I felt her getting up, her body getting closer to mine. I shut my eyes tightly, desperately trying to block away everything else. I didn't want to hear her.

"Things used to be so simple Yashie." She whispered.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"So this is how spin the bottle works. You spin the bottle, points to me, so you would have to kiss me!"_

_"Kiss you?"_

_"On the cheek dummy!"_

_"…Oh, 'kay"_

_"So do you wanna play?"_

_"But there's only two of us…"_

_…_

_"Well- huh- hide and seek again?"_

_"No way! I'm sick of running after you around the house!"_

_"Okay! Jeez! Then what to you want to do?"_

_…_

_"I guess the bottle thing wouldn't be so bad…"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I clenched my hand harder, the grip I had on the doorknob almost breaking it. I had to do it again. I had to push her away. She would be much worse if we kept going.

"Close the door when you leave."

* * *

**And here's chapter 8 guys! Tell me what you think :)**


	9. Chapter 9

I stayed like that for a while. For as long as I could hear her. She was crying, sobbing as the air refused to refresh her lungs. I listened as she let herself fall to the floor, her body going limp, the strangling beats of her heart thumping painfully in my ears. The salty smell of her tears made me dig my nails in the wooden floor, my jaw clenching with full force. I could feel it. I could feel her pain. Remorse, angst and unshed fears washed my mind like murderous poison. I couldn't go to her. I couldn't help her understand. She'd have to do it on her own.

And how I wanted to be the one to comfort her, to tell her it would all be okay.

I let my head fall back hitting the cold wall, my arms going limp. I felt my heart fighting against its restrains, desperately trying to rip the barriers keeping me from her. I could hear the soft whispers of the voice in my head, its dormant yet uneasy state arousing the blood that kept my demonic side at bay. It felt like it was calling to me. Calling for her.

"Sweetie?" My mother's voice echoed in my head, the painful pulsing ceasing. I glanced up at her concerned features, her eyes soft and understanding. "Is everything alright?"

I sighed slowly trying to get up. She grabbed my arm, fruitlessly pulling me. I let the blur vanish from my eyes, the dizziness completely disappearing. She kept a close watch on me, once in a while turning her attention to the now quiet bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm fine mom." I tugged one of her stubborn strands of hair behind her ear before placing a soft kiss in her forehead. "Kikyou's waiting downstairs honey. Shouldn't you go see her?"

I wrapped my left arm around her, pulling her along. "Yeah, come on. I want some of Aiko's cookies before, and I'm pretty sure only you can get those for me" I smiled when she punched my arm before stopping.

"You know, you and Kagome used to steal those all the time when you were little! Do you remember?" She said between happy laughs.

The smile fainted from my lips, the sudden quietness allowing my mind to stop and think.

"No."She didn't laugh anymore. Instead I saw her smiling. A kind smile. A knowing smile.

"Whatever it is that happened-" She tugged one of my ears softly. "-she'll forgive you." Taking my arm in a soon-to-be-married way, she pulled me two steps further. "She loves you too much not to."

I sighed before letting a faint smile grace my lips, the soft breathing from inside the bedroom getting quicker. I couldn't let her suffer anymore.

"I keep hurting her." I saw my mother sweetly glancing at me before looking at the door again.

"Maybe I don't love her enough."

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"O-Oh hey Kagome! "_

_…_

_"K-Kagome? Hey-Hey wait a second!"_

_"…O-Oh Hi Kikyou."_

_"Is everything alright? Didn't you hear me calling?"_

_"Oh- huh, yeah, sorry about that."_

_…_

_"Are you okay sweetie? W-Were you crying?"_

_"-O-Oh no! I'm just- sleepy, that's all."_

_"…Are you sure, you seem-"_

_"I-I'm fine."_

_"Huh…okay, I-I understand. Huh, look, I wanted to- talk to you- about something."_

_ "…Huh, yeah, sure, what is it?"_

_"… Okay so, first of all-"_

_"…Yes?"_

_"…I want you to know that I'm- I'm relieved that you're alright. With you running away and all."_

_…_

_"…It's just that- I- I really care about you. You're like a little sister to me, you know?"_

_…_

_"I just… I-I can't stop feeling like- like I'm coming in between."_

_"…In-In between?"_

_…_

_"You and Inuyasha"_

_…_

_"I want you to know that- well I really don't want to be the center of your brother's life. I know you two are very dependent on each other. You have a very special bond and sometimes I might take precious time out of his life that he could be spending with you. And-and I'm sorry if I ever did that."_

_…_

_"It's just that- I love him. I love him so much, with all my heart and soul. And sometimes I- I just can't help it. I just want to be surrounded by him."_

_"…I-I understand."_

_"…He's really sweet you know? He can be so stubborn sometimes, it's funny actually. But other times, he-he gives me his jacket when I'm cold, he talks to me through the whole night when I'm feeling down, he-"_

_"Yeah, I know. I live with him."_

_…_

_"… I just want to be there for him."_

_…_

_"I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't m-mean to talk to you like t-that."_

_"…Don't be. I understand."_

_…_

_"I-I know you're good for him Kikyou, I-"_

_…_

_"I know, and- I know he's happy with you."_

_…_

_"I know he loves you."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I shut my eyes tightly, my hands fisting at my side. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to kiss her tears away. I wanted to tell her she was wrong. She was suffering, her heart was being cracked one piece at a time, her beautiful laughter slowly dying.

And it was all my fault. I should have never let my demon get the best of me. My own heart. I shouldn't have let her tell me how she felt. I shouldn't have let her come to me.

I wanted to die. I wanted to let my own claws cut the flesh of my chest and rip my still beating heart out. Anything but seeing her slowly disappearing. Anything but seeing my Kagome in pain.

She didn't deserve that.

I didn't deserve her.

And Kikyou. She was also a victim caught in our web. She didn't deserve it either.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"I've missed you so much Kagome. Don't you ever do that again! You had me questioning my sanity!"_

_"W-Why?"_

_"From being away from you, what else?"_

_"K-Kouga s-stop it, please."_

_"What? Now I can't kiss my own girlfriend?"_

_"Not in the middle of my living room!"_

_"Oh come on, no one's here babe. And I would kiss you to the end of the world if needed."_

_"K-Kouga-"_

_"Aww, how sweet! A little tacky but still!"_

_"….What do you two want? We're kind of in the middle of something!"_

_"Oh come on Kouga, you can kiss her to the end of the world, so why not in front of us?"_

_"We're very funny today Kikyou!"_

_"When possible."_

_…_

_"Something the matter mutt face? Did the cat eat your tongue?"_

_…_

_"I asked you a question idio-"_

_"She told you to leave her alone."_

_…_

_"Oh-ho ho, really now? I think she was enjoying it. Weren't you honey?"_

_"K-Kouga t-that's enough-"_

_…_

_"Kouga! I told you not to do that!"_

_"What?! Now I can't even get a kiss from yo-"_

_"I-Inuyasha! What are you doing?! Put him down!"_

_"…Y-Yashie-"_

_…_

_"Stay the hell away from her."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I let my body fall back in the bed, the softness of the mattress almost healing my sore muscles. I was exhausted, my eyes closing almost instantly in the darkness. I had lost control again. I had let my emotions control my mind.

I didn't regret it though. All rational thought left me when I saw him kissing her. That disgusting wolf was touching her again. My Kagome. It was if he was trying to shove it down my throat. Showing me that he was the one that got to hold her. He was the one who got to whisper sweet words in her ear, promising eternal love.

I rubbed my eyes forcefully with my fingers when I heard steps at the door, the weight of my lids diminishing. I saw my mother coming in through the corner of my eye. She was checking every corner, her human vision not allowing her to see me.

"I'm awake mom, you can come in." I turned the pale light on while she smiled trotting to the bed with a tray on her hands.

I watched her sit down before leaning into me. "Cookie?" She took two out of the tray, shoving one of them in my mouth and taking one to hers. I laughed trying to get up and clean the crumbs that fell. "I knew you could do it. Aiko likes you better."

She raised one brow picking another chocolate biscuit from the tray. "She didn't even let me get in the kitchen! I had to steal them while she went to the bathroom." I chocked a laugh, bringing my hand to my mouth.

"Whoa, Mrs. Takahashi breaking the rules? I'm proud!" She smiled before letting a calm expression graze her face. I saw her looking up at me, that gleam she always had when she was about to give me some philosophy lesson appearing in her eyes.

"You know, this morning, I almost killed your father when he tripped me. Of course it was _an accident-" _She made the comma movement and rolled her eyes. I smiled watching her intently. "-but the other day, when a lady on the street bumped into me and made me drop my groceries, I simply smiled and almost gave her congratulating a pat on the head!"

I tilted my head to the side and furrowed my brows letting her know I wasn't following. She stopped laughing, looking at me with the most serious yet kindest expression I had ever en.

"Sometimes, the ones we love are the ones we hurt the most."She tugged my cheek, got up and left.


	10. Chapter 10

I felt thin drops of sweat running down my face, the heat coming from the outside already making the air inside the garage warm and sultry. I reached the metal gate and opened it some more, letting the rays of the Saturday morning burning sun lighten the dimmed garage. I smiled closing the silver hood of the car, happily jogging to the driver's seat. Plunging the key in, I heard the now fixed engines powerfully roaring, the almost dangerous sound making me smirk.

"The sound of victory." I breathed happily, dropping the wrench I was holding and hitting the brakes one last time before letting the engines calm down to a slow murmur.

"We did it Queeny!" I heard a sweet giggle coming from the door, the strong scent of gas blocking out her fresh one. She was leaning against the cement wall, a small smile gracing her lips. Her hair was pulled up in a loose messy bun, her bangs no longer hiding her beautiful brown eyes. The pale blue blouse could barely hide the creamy skin of her neck, the white shorts hugging her thighs perfectly. You could tell she hadn't really put much effort in her outfit, just some everyday walking-around-the-house clothes. Yet I've never seen her so beautiful. She looked sexy and alluring in every way possible.

I was scared she would come closer. Too close.

I saw her stealing nervous glances at me, the same shy look in her stormy eyes. With her teeth biting her plump lips, her hands roamed to her waist, her arms embracing herself. I noted she had started doing that a lot after after what happened. She was unconsciously protecting herself. It had been two weeks and we had barely talked to each other. Not that we had anything to say. I couldn't forget the memories of that night, as much as she told me she forgave me, and she was clearly in pain from what I told her the night we came back home.

I remember what my mom said that night.

I just realized what it meant a little too late.

She was already unreachable for me to ask for forgiveness.

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_"So you'll give me one as my eighteenth birthday present?"_

_"Don't you think it's a little early to start thinking of buying Lamborghinis? It's not like we're swimming in money son."_

_"Yeah and that's like ten years from now!"_

_"Shut up Kags! I'm trying to convince someone here!"_

_"I can hear you, you know?"_

_"Come on Dad! You were the one who got me into this! So now it's your responsibility to make your son happy!"_

_"…Yeah, I'll think about it."_

_"W-What? Oh, okay! Then I want one too!"_

_"You're a girl!"_

_"So what you jerk? I like the one Barbie drives, 'kay Daddy?"_

_"…You two are exhausting, you know that?"_

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"Queeny?" Her muffle giggle woke me from my day dream. "…Queeny the Lamborghini?" She tried miserably to hide the wave of laughter that was coming out of her, her tummy trembling from the desperate movements. I furrowed my brows, trying to hide the smile that was creeping up my face. Now this was different.

"Dad's idea." She let out a joyful laugh, her eyes sparkling.

"Sure it was!" I heard the sarcastic hint in her tone, her giggles echoing and warming my heart. I smiled letting aside the warning bells ringing in my head. Desperately telling me to be careful.

"Mom asked if you were having lunch with us." I stole a glance at her curious face while moving to the driver's seat.

"Yeah, just going to meet Dad at four." I turned the engines off before jumping out with the keys. She was still clenching her blouse, her fingers playing with the last small button.

I bend to the floor, picking up the orange cloth, throwing it on top of my shoulder. I walked closer to her, her eyes rising to meet mine. I could sense the delirious anticipation laced with her scent, her eyes brimming with joy. I smirked to myself. It was disgusting, it was wrong in so many ways, especially after what I did to her, but I couldn't help but feel a wave of pride flowing through my body. To know that I could turn her body into jelly with a blazing look and simple movements.

I took the last steps slowly, my body inches apart from hers. I felt her shivering before looking up, my height on its own showing her my dominance. I heard her gasp when my arm went around her neck, her body trembling from the almost-contact. I shut my eyes tightly, her scent flowing to me and begging me to come closer.

_No._ I couldn't do this again. I couldn't let her hope and then destroy her. My pain was enough. I could suffer for the both of us. She needed to go on.

With one swift movement I pulled the green hose down, making her eyes open. She looked up at me, my eyes averting from hers. Creating space between our bodies, I dragged the hose around the garage, closer to the car.

"Wanna help me?" I asked her with a smile. Inside, I wasn't exactly brimming with joy. I felt my demon stir up, the pulsing sensation growing in the back of my head. I didn't let it win though. I would never do that to her again.

I watched her gulp before smiling, a pained smile, but a smile. "Sure, but how do I- Ahh! Inuyasha!" I laughed as the water damped her clothes, her screams almost hurting my ears. She ran outside, her helpless laughter filling the air. I smiled before running after her, the green grass tickling my bare feet. I saw her picking another hose before turning to me and smiling devilishly. She turned the water on before playfully yelling from the other side of the garden.

"You're in for it now pal!"

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_"On three!"_

_"Why does it have to be on three?"_

_"Because we have to start at the same time…"_

_"No, why on three? Why not on two?"_

_"…Fine, on two!"_

_"Why on two?"_

_"Oh come on Kagome!"_

_"... ha-ha 'kay on two then."_

_…_

_"One…"_

_…_

_"Two!"_

_"So we're going on two then?"_

_"Argh that's it! You're gonna get damp missy!"_

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By then all of our neighbors were playing the crowd in our little game. Most of them were old couples just sitting in their garden, watching the quiet scenery. That is, until we decided to ruin their calm morning. They didn't seem to mind though. They started laughing along with us, remembering that years ago we used to do the exact same thing. The only difference was that we weren't little kids anymore. We weren't playing just for fun anymore. We were trying to get things back to normal. Trying to get our memories back, the bond we used to have.

And still did.

I laughed through throaty pants, her own breathing getting labored. We were both exhausted, our bodies completely soaked and going limp at each minute that ticked by. I saw her sending me a bright smile before forcing her legs to run to the garage again. I smirked realizing what she was up to. We used to do that when we were little. I went after, easily outrunning her and getting to the soap first. She threw herself at me, her body almost sending mine to the cement floor. I held us both on our feet, one of my hands holding the carton box higher so that she couldn't reach it. She tried, though. I felt her body roughly brushing against mine during her attempts to get to the soap. By then, my other hand had gone around her waist trying to pry her away. It didn't work out the way I wanted to though.

Just then I realized what a bad idea that had been. Maybe I did get my mind away from all the pain, if only for a few minutes. Maybe we were ourselves again. But now, now I was holding her close to my body, her clothes were sticking to hers like a second skin and we were both too tired to even think this through.

I looked into her translucent chocolate brown eyes, their shy yet untamed gaze landing on my lips. I felt her breathing quickening to an impossible speed, her chest rising and falling along. I closed my eyes, breathing in her scent. I felt her arm dropping to my neck, her fingers tangling in my hair. I was getting addicted by her touch.

"Please just- just d-don't fight it." I heard her whisper, her breath hot against my lips. I felt electric jolts run through my body when she softly brushed her full lips against mine, my arms tightening around her. I heard her moan, her body pressing closer to mine. I felt her running her small trembling hands down my chest, her fingers tracing the muscle lines. She gasped when I bit hard on her bottom lip before placing a sweet languid kiss, as if asking for forgiveness.

For everything.

She let out a little whimper when I broke us apart, my hand tangling in her hair while my mouth found her forehead. "Please don't fight me." She froze understanding what I was saying. I smelt tears moistening her eyes, her hands fisting in my shirt.

"I-I d-don't want to lose you." Her whisper came brokenly.

"You won't. Ever." I tilted her head up, her watery eyes clashing with mine. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to actually give her reasons to cry. I wanted to be allowed to love her.

"Well, well, if it isn't the happy couple!"


	11. Chapter 11

I heard a familiar rough voice behind us, coming from the entrance of the garage. The stench of wolf now surrounding us, amusement evident in his tone. I felt her body stiffening, her hands griping my shirt with all the force I thought she had, almost desperately begging for help. I could smell the distress in her scent, fear and anxiety pouring out of her. I understood it though. After all, he was, for all means and effects, her boyfriend. And even though he's a complete idiot, I could tell she held some sort of affection towards him. I just didn't know how strong that feeling was.

I glanced at his leaning position, his arms crossed in front of his chest, that goddamned irritating smirk playing around in his lips. How come I hadn't sensed him coming? Or at least detected his scent? I felt her breathing hard, leaning against my chest for support. That was why.

I turned to him again, his eyes focused on the girl in my arms. I could tell he was enjoying this, as sick as it sounded. You could almost hear the engines working in his head, formulating some sort of twisted evil plan I knew I wasn't gonna like. I could smell it in him, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"You'd think you weren't old enough to do that sort of thing. Oh wait a minute! I guess the sibling thing would be the issue here, right?" His voice was poisonous, mocking, as if he knew he got us in the palm of his hand.

"K-Kouga" Kagome softly whispered. I felt her hands shaking, her body completely limp against mine. She looked up at me, her eyes desperate, fruitlessly trying to hold down the utter fear swimming in them. Her heart was beating faster by the second, her tiny fingers seeking out the comfort and certainty she thought I could provide. I couldn't. Deep inside I almost knew what he wanted. I knew what he was going to do.

"And how are you today my sweet Kagome?" I could almost see the acid dripping out of his mouth, his horrible grin sending warning waves down my spine.

"Kouga, I-I can-" She muttered, her eyes never tuning around to meet his. We were supposed to let go of each other, be as far as possible the minute he walked inside, but there was something that didn't let me let go of her. And I knew she felt it too. We knew we would need each other at some point.

"What? Explain?" He chuckled, his dark tone laced with violence. I could feel his aura getting heavier, his demonic side barely restraining itself from coming out. I growled low in my chest, as I warning.

I watched as he made his way to one of the piles of boxes next to the car, silently sitting down. My grip around her body got tighter, a whine escaping her lips from the force of it. She didn't push me away.

"You thought I didn't know?" He asked after a few moments, the sarcasm evident in his voice. I frowned sending him murderous glares. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't even seem to care!

"Think I couldn't smell his stench on you all the time? Think I couldn't smell your excitement every time he looked at you?" I groaned holding her closer. I could smell tears rushing to her eyes, her mumbled failed sentences dying in her lips. He grinned even wider, her unspoken explanations exciting him further. It was like a game to him. A sick, disgusting game.

"K-Kouga I-" She stopped in mid-sentence. I felt her small trembling hands gripping my arms, gently asking me to let her go. I glanced down, confusion baffling my better judgment. Her chocolate eyes clashed with mine, her silent begging making me understand. She was trying to fix things. I loosened my grip around her waist, unsure of how right she could be. I knew I could trust her. I just didn't know if I could trust him.

She finally freed herself from my hold, her feet stumbling towards him. She moved cautiously, her hands not knowing where to touch.

"K-Kouga I- I can't- I can't even begin to e-explain how- how sorry I am." I saw her getting closer to him, her voice coming out in high sobs. "You don't d-deserve this. You don't. You're- You're not to blame for any of this." I saw him raising one brow before turning his lips in a mocking pout. "Of course you're not, what the hell am I even saying?" She muttered more to herself than to him. "I- I should have told you already. I should have told you from the moment I understood what I felt but-" She stopped to catch her breath, her words rushed, as if she wanted to get it out quickly and painlessly. "I guess I didn't want to accept it." Her whisper made my heart clench a bit. I knew what she was saying. "I just- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I know you must be suffering right now-"

My eyes widened when he interrupted her. He was laughing. A demonic right-out-of-the-depths-of-hell laugh. As soon as it started, it was over. He looked at her before turning his penetrating gaze to me. I saw pain, hate, death.

"I won't be the one who suffers my dear."

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_"You wanna go see a movie babe?"_

_"A-A m-movie? W-Why? Why a movie?"_

_"…Huh? I don't know. Just asking. We can do something else if you want to. Anything for my princess!"_

_…_

_"But why?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"Why not a movie?"_

_"…No reason."_

_"Come on Kagome, I know you better than that!"_

_"…I just don't wanna go, that's all."_

_…_

_"…They might be there..."_

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I felt adrenaline rushing through my body, the undying need of protecting her I knew since I was born coming to the surface. I saw him glancing at her while she wasn't looking, the devil himself glassed in his eyes. I tried to lung for her, her body so close I could almost touch her with one raise of an arm. He was closer though.

She gasped as one of his rough hands griped her arm, while the other flew to her neck, one of his sharp nails threatening to dig in her tender flesh. I stopped abruptly, his smirk making me bare my fangs. I felt a burning feeling leaving bruising ripples inside my body, my demonic blood instinctively awakening.

"How touching! You fell in love with the mutt?" His eyes were burning with hatred, his claws digging in her flesh, making small drops of blood run down her arm. I growled at her cry, the scent of her blood putting my mind in over-drive.

"Let her go." I could feel my own blood pumping in my veins, my fangs biting the inside of my mouth to keep my demon locked.

"I always knew you weren't the angel everyone thought you were. You want your big brother huh? How much of a slut are you?" He whispered menacingly in her ear. I saw her biting her lip, her tears now running freely down her cheeks. I growled again, my voice getting deeper.

"I told you to let her go." The darkness swimming in my throat matched his, the scent of her fear fueling my anger.

"How come you never let me touch you then you horny tramp? Saving yourself for him were you? " His hand unclasped her bruised arm before softly grazing her neck where the mark from the first time I touched her laid. "You're already tainted." He ran his claw along the mark, the look on his eyes making me take another step, instinct telling me to protect her. Until I saw him smiling. The bastard was smiling again.

"I'm not gonna warn you again. Let her go before I rip your goddamned eyes off!" His grin grew.

"It must be really hard for your family… having to see their precious babies hurting all the time…" His red tainted eyes never left mine. I could hear his malicious threat. I clenched my fists, controlling the urge to lunge for him.

"Wouldn't it be better if they could help?" Kagome gasped. Her eyes met mine. She finally understood.

"Kouga, please don't." He laughed grazing her collarbone softly.

"How do you think Mr. Takahashi would react if he found out?" His eyes glued to me again, my expression transmitting nothing except rage.

"Don't you even dare." I could feel the pulsing sensation I knew too well rising in my head, my claws growing stronger and sharper.

"You're in no position to threaten me, Inuyasha." It was probably the first time I heard him say my actual name. Spilled with venom. And I understood then, he wasn't joking. "And I even have proof." He muttered chuckling while running his claw on the biting mark again.

He turned his attention to her again, her eyes shut tightly. "You know, you're not that bad to look at. Not that you're gorgeous like I used to tell you, or anything-" He chuckled when I let out a menacingly groan. "- but you're mine. And I like to keep what's mine." I felt another painful pulse rush through my body, my vision getting blurry.

He lifted his malicious eyes, showing me how helpless I was in the moment. I couldn't go to her. I couldn't help her.

"I want you in my house in two days. And you better be grateful for me giving you the time to prepare yourself." He purred in her ear. "It'll take days for your weak human body to recover."

I lost it then.

I charged towards them, everything around me forgotten. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. All I wanted was to tear every limb out of his body. Slowly. Painfully.

I wanted to save her. I wanted to keep her with me.

"Stop Inuyasha." Her pained whisper made me freeze. Her face was red and wet from her tears, her fingers trembling, holding to the arm around her upper half. "I'll- I'll go." I felt a sharp pain piercing through my heart, clenching my lungs, tearing the life out of me.

"W-What?" I almost screamed, my clawed hands trembling. I saw her emotionless eyes lowering, as if she was afraid of what she was about to say.

"I'll go. I-They can't know." I watched as he smirked, his hand grazing her breast, making her jump in surprise.

"…N-No. No! What the hell are you saying you idiot?! You're not going anywhere! I'll tie you to the damned bed if needed! But you're not leaving me." My voice was husky, dangerous. I felt dangerous. I knew my demon would burst out at any second. How could she even think I would let her do that? She would have to kill me first.

"Oh I bet she would like that, wouldn't you Kagome?" His smile was lusty. "You're already _in love _with your own brother, so what's a little more kinkiness?"

"W-What?" I turned to the voice.

My mother's shocked eyes locked with mine.

* * *

**I wanted to thank everyone that has reviewed the story so far, you guys are the best :) Special thanks to: LoverOfKnowledge, jellyfish'confetti, DemonsxXxHeart and nane-chan3. Oh and my newest reviewer of course, Abbey! Thank you for all your kind words :)**


	12. Chapter 12

I punched my fist against the wall, the silence in the room cracking every time another bit of dust fell. I felt like dying. I wanted to throw myself off a bridge, and preferably take that bastard with me. And my naïve mind even thought he could never do any more damage than I had already done.

I know I won't ever forget the look on her eyes. She was terrified. To know that she had been with a monster for all these years, someone who would steal what was most precious to her without a second thought. And as a way to get back at some stupid mistake that shouldn't even had happened. I had no doubt that she didn't love him, she told me so herself, but she considered him a friend. A very good friend that would help her and understand her every decision. A good friend that was now threatening to ruin our lives.

"Inuyasha?" I shut my eyes tightly at the sound of my mother's voice. I didn't know if I could face her right now. She heard everything. She knew we weren't just _siblings _anymore.

I should have been able to pick up her scent. I should have been able to tell she was coming. But I couldn't. And now, she was probably going to suffer as much as we were. Just like Kagome, I couldn't protect her from the truth. The ones I loved the most.

"Mom, please listen to me befo-" She made a shushing sound, her own whisper coming out brokenly. Hurt.

"N-No, y-you listen t-to me." She muttered softly between sobs. I didn't know if I could take it. I couldn't see her like this. My own mother.

"I-I'm- I'm so s-sorry, Inuyasha." My eyes snapped open at her apology. I turned around to see her holding her silk scarf forcefully. She was trying her best not to let new tears stain her face, her hands holding each other close to her heart. She sat down in my bed carefully not to lose her balance. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

"I'm- I'm so sorry my son." She lifted her watery bronze eyes, regret, pain, every feeling I've known since forever floating in them. "I should have known- I-I should have-" My eyes widened. "I should have never called you-" She let out another sob as more tears ran down her face. "I should have known." The last sentence came softly, as if she didn't want me to hear it. She was punishing herself.

"Mom-" I made my way towards her, my feet not allowing me to go at a faster pace. I was afraid. "Mom, what are you saying? This is not your fault. None of it." I whispered putting my arms around her, trying to comfort her. That was all I did now. Comfort them. I shouldn't even let them get hurt enough to need to be comforted. "I was the one who started all this. I was the one that- that couldn't control my- my feelings. Please Mom, just- just don't blame yourself." I rubbed her back in a soothing manner. "How could you even know?"

Her sobs were now coming slowly, her breathing calming to a normal pace. She let out a little laugh before looking me in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes I could always count on for support. "I guess I should have figured it out. You never stopped playing Spin the Bottle since the moment you found out about the cursed game." I smiled holding her tighter.

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_"Thank you Aiko, we'll be there in a minute."_

_"B-But-"_

_"Kagome, please go dear, I need to talk to Inuyasha."_

_"…Yes."_

_…_

_"Kouga, I ask you to leave too."_

_"…Alright, don't mind me Mrs. Higurashi. Oh and Kagome?"_

_…_

_"Don't do anything stupid sweetheart."_

_"You son of a-"_

_"Inuyasha stop it! Kouga, leave right now!"_

_…_

_"Mom-"_

_"No, don't. Just come with me, please."_

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I remember the look she gave me. That pleading look. She was almost begging me to say it. To shove it in her face that she was wrong. That he had been using her the whole time. I couldn't do it though. That was the last thing I'd do. She had always been like that, it was not her fault. She had always been so trusting, so giving. Even the ones she didn't like, she could always see the good in them. She never liked Kikyou, yet she wanted me to be happy with her. Because she was "good for me" as she had said.

I felt my mother stirring in my arms, her face leaving its spot in my chest. She gave me a peck on the cheek before getting up, brushing some dust of her shirt. I watched her taking in a deep breath while looking out the window, her caring expression turning towards me again after a few minutes.

"Inuyasha, this is serious you know?" I furrowed my brows as she looked at me with compassion. "Your father- he won't go easy on you." Her face was soft, trying to make me understand. Trying to get me to forgive her. "I can't do anything about it sweetie." I smelt tears reaching her eyes again. "I'll- I'll help you. I'll help you two in anything you want but-" She took another deep breath before continuing. " Your father will break you apart." She smiled. A pained smile. "He will."

I made a frown before turning my head to the side. "We won't do anything about it so there's nothing for him to be worried about." She sighed kneeling in front of me.

"You won't?" I glanced at her, her eyes knowing. "How long are you going to keep this up sweetie? I can imagine how much you've suffered already. Don't let this destroy you. Stop lying to yourself." She rubbed my knee only to take her hand to my mouth when I tried to speak. "The mark- on her collarbone?" She turned my head for me to look at her. "It wasn't consensual, was it?" Her eyes softened when I clenched my hands. No, it wasn't.

"You can't keep it up honey. You'll end up hurting her again." I glanced at her again. She smiled. "You love her too much to be apart from her."

I groan getting up, my hands fisting in my hair. "No! No Mom you don't understand! You don't! I almost-damn I-" She didn't say anything. She just stood there, allowing me to calm down. I finally regained my voice, words coming out slowly. "I almost ruined her life." I saw her sitting down in the bed again, questioningly looking at me. She wanted to know.

"Do you love her Inuyasha?" Her voice was sweet, yet firm. She wasn't asking me, she was demanding to know. I could tell she was trying to, in some way, redeem herself. And I couldn't lie to her.

"Yes." She smiled.

I watched as she got up and walked towards me, taking my hand in hers and pushing me closer to the window. She opened it and then leaned on the large frame, patting the spot next to her.

"You won't be able to keep Kouga quiet for too long." Her voice was worried, her fingers playing with each other. I smiled realizing where Kagome had gotten the habit from.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him." She turned immediately after hearing my menacingly tone.

"We're not in the feudal times Inuyasha! You can't go around killing people!" She shouted making my ears lower in my head.

"Maybe I'll just hurt him a little. Just enough for him to keep his damned mouth shut-" She widened her eyes before lifting one hand in front of my face.

"Language Inuyasha." Rolling her eyes she continued. "And risk hurting Kagome?" I saw her sighing when I glanced at her concerned expression. "He won't take it out on you honey. He knows he could never hurt you, at least not physically." I smirked slightly before feeling her punch my arm.

I turned to her again, her features serious. We weren't joking anymore. "He'll come for Kagome. And _that _will be the perfect way to hurt you." I furrowed my brows clenching my hands at my side.

"You really think I'll let him get that close to her?" She rubbed my arm trying to sooth me, my angered state putting her mind in alert.

"You won't be able to protect her forever. At least not like that." My eyes turned to hers. She knew how to do it. She knew how I could always be there for her. And not let anything happen.

"I ask you again Inuyasha. Do you love her?" I saw fear in her eyes.

I nodded.

She smiled. _I know the way, _her eyes told me.

"Mate with her."

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_"Are you sure sweetie? You should rest a little."_

_"I'm fine Aiko, thank you."_

_…_

_"I'm so sorry. I had no idea your friend was the violent type. I would have never let him set foot in the house if I did!"_

_"…don't worry Aiko, it's not your fault."_

_"If you need anything tell me, okay sweetie?"_

_"…'kay, thank you Aiko."_

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I stood there unable to move. Had she just said what I thought she said? I felt my heart beating faster in my chest, my demon blood getting warmer. It was understanding what she was saying. And eager to comply. I took a deep breath before turning to my mother again, her expression firm and sure.

"W-What?" She didn't even blink, as I tried to mutter some excuse. "N-No. No Mom. I won't. I won't do that to her." She walked closer to me taking both my hands in hers.

"Sweetie I know, I know you don't feel good about this. It's normal. I don't want to be the one to tell you what to do either. " Her voice was trembling again, her eyes getting red. "And I know how horrible it must be to be- to almost be forced into this." She let one tear fall down, her eyes now allowing mine to turn away. "But you don't have a choice." I saw her gulping, her lips shivering. "It would solve the matter with Kouga. And even if he decided to try to hurt you both again, you would be able to protect Kagome, fully." I tried to reason with her before she put one elegant finger against my lips.

"You're equal in his eyes." Her watery eyes lifted slowly meeting mine. "Your father." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I know- I know he would never disrespect a mating mark. I know he would never dare to break a bond uniting souls." I gulped understanding her words. "He won't accept honey. Ever." There was sadness in her voice. As if she knew this would end us. Our family would never be the same. "He won't accept. But he will conform." I closed my eyes as she grazed my cheek.

"And most importantly-" She took both her hands to my cheeks, holding me like a child. "You love her." I finally allowed myself to let out a small smile.

"I can't force her into this." I heard her giggle before her hands left my face. I opened my eyes to watch her smiling to somewhere.

"I know the feeling's mutual." I followed her gaze.

Kagome stood at the door, crying.

* * *

**We're almost done guys! 'kay, more or less :)**


	13. Chapter 13

I felt my voice dying in my throat, my own brain refusing to form words. Waves of anxiety and somehow frustration ran through my every nerve, a feeling of pure protectiveness settling in the pit of my stomach. My demon. It was recognizing her.

I let my eyes slowly trail their way up her body. She looked so fragile. So innocent. She looked like a lost child desperately crying for her mother. For answers. For someone to help her. I lowered my eyes, the sight of her hot tears tainting her pale skin too much for my weak heart to handle. I was supposed to be supporting her. I was supposed to be telling her that it would be okay. That nothing mattered anymore as long as we could figure this out. I just didn't know how to.

"You're father is here." My mother's murmur made me look up again, her concerned yet determinate expression giving me the confidence I needed. She was looking out the window, her eyes unfocused. I could tell she wanted to do more than just this. She wanted to keep us under her wing and not let anything hurt us again. She thought she had the responsibility.

I saw her glancing at me before making her away towards Kagome. She gave her a motherly hug before cleaning her tears away. Kagome smiled weakly before lowering her eyes. She closed the door and left.

I could hear her. I could hear her heart beating faster, her scent getting tainted with nervousness. Of course she would be nervous. Of course she should be scared. And even though I had done more than I could apologize for, at least in this life, I knew she would still accept it. I knew she would still be there.

"Kagome-" I tried to explain. I tried to get her to understand. To finally make one of us come to our senses and put a stop to this.

But she didn't understand. She didn't even recognize the mark I had left on her collarbone that night. She didn't know what she was getting into. And I was scared. I was scared that she would only be willing to do this to get us out of this mess.

"You're not forcing me into anything." I heard her whisper, her words full of love and compassion. I felt my body going numb in that moment. She had told me. She had told me before. But never had her words been so serious. So devastating.

"I love you by choice." I let my eyes clash with hers. Her dark orbs were overflowing with kindness, every forgiving word she cried in my chest that morning at the beach returning. I felt my lungs getting lighter, the pressure around my chest disappearing. She was capable of anything. Everything.

She had always been like that. She made everyone around her happier. She was a breath of fresh air every morning. She was laughter and smiles.

And to know that even after almost destroying the wonderful soul inside her, she could still look at me, forgive me- love me- was like dying, only to come back to life.

"We're gonna get through this Yashie." I smelt another tear slipping down her cheek, her soft smile making me forget about everything. Forget my mistakes. Forget family misunderstandings. Forget anything that could take her away from me. "Right?" I finally let my eyes clash with hers again. She looked peaceful, her translucent orbs giving me the certainty I needed. Maybe we were doing this for the wrong reasons. Maybe we weren't ready.

I walked closer to her, my arms griping her body and bringing her to my chest. I buried my face in her hair, taking long deep breaths. She sighed fisting her hands in my shirt, her body holding itself to mine with every fiber it had.

"Right." I loved her. I loved her like I did ever since the day I can remember. Because I can't remember all that much from before. But I just knew- I loved her even then.

And that was all that mattered.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"See? They're all like mirrors of each other."_

_"How did you do that? I want one two!"_

_"Calm down I'll teach you!"_

_…_

_"So you fold the paper as many times as you want."_

_"…Uh-huh."_

_"Now you draw your princess in the front sheet."_

_"….Done!"_

_"And now cut it around the edges!"_

_…_

_"…Yay I did it!"_

_"Now unfold it and they'll be all holding hands."_

_…_

_"…Huh? K-Kags that's not- that's not-"_

_"….What? I did what you told me!"_

_"They're just two! And they don't even have a shape! They're just like baby drawings!"_

_…_

_"I know."_

_"Huh?"_

_"…They're the two of us. And now I can draw your ears and my pink bow!"_

_"…Ka-Kagome."_

_…_

_"Holding hands."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I could almost see the distress floating around her. It was like a nightmare, haunting her. My mother was walking along side with my father, her eyes lowered, her lips trembling. She kept toying with her engagement ring around her fingers. I realized it then. She was putting herself through so much more than we could ever imagine. The ring was only a symbol, a shadow of the real dimension of her relationship with my father. They weren't just married. They were mates. They were bound to eternity.

And now, she was lying to him. She was keeping a secret, one that she shouldn't have to keep. She was erecting barriers between them and hurting herself in the process. She shouldn't have to do it. It was not her burden. But she chose to be there. And all for us.

I could tell my father wasn't oblivious to her current state. He kept stealing glances at her worried form, every step towards us interrupted by his silent glare. He was getting worried, his hands trying to find hers, demanding for an explanation. She just kept her gaze averted, creating even more space between the two of them. I hated seeing her like this. I hated watching her pay for something she was not to blame for. Not even remotely.

I felt a tug in my hand, my eyes following the gesture. Kagome's small one was intertwined with mine, her small shaking pattern making me tighten my grip. She looked up at me before taking in a deep breath.

"I'm disappointed at you Inuyasha." I lifted my eyes quickly, trying to decipher his words. "Weren't you supposed to pick me up at the airport?" I watched my father smiling before launching himself at me. I huffed while my body was taken back from the force of his hug. I felt him patting my back before roughly pulling away.

I never let go of her hand.

"Sorry Dad, the car took longer to get fixed." I lied holding her tighter. I glanced at my mother to see her staring into our joined hands, her eyes sad and nostalgic. Her eyes lifted to meet mine, her silent plea making me reconsider our current position. I wouldn't let go though. I knew Kagome couldn't do it without this. I probably couldn't do it without it.

"Don't worry son, I like it that you're keeping yourself busy!" He was the only one to laugh at that, our soulless smiles creating an uncomfortable silence. "I was just eager to see my boy! This week was like hell on earth. I felt like I was carrying a boulder on my shoulders." He finally turned his gaze to Kagome, my own eyes following.

"And how are you sweetheart?" For the first time, I actually listened. The caring tone in his voice. The love the last word carried. He really did see us as _equals_. She was a blood daughter to him. And that just made things much more difficult.

"I-I'm fine- S-Sir." I froze at her statement. She did too. I felt her hand closing on mine with all the strength she had, as if our lives depended on it. I glanced up at my mother, her shocked expression being replaced by one of utter confusion. I could tell she was trying to quickly formulate a plan. Desperately seeking out an excuse.

Kagome was in the same state. I observed her from the corner of my eye, since I couldn't do anything else in that moment. She was shocked, confused. I knew what she was thinking. How could she just let it slip like that? She had never, ever, treated him as anything but _father_. No _sir_, no _mister_. Just _father_.

I grasped her hand tighter. I could tell she needed it. She needed to be reassured that it was all going to be okay. Even when I wasn't assure about it myself. I understood her. I understood why she did it. It wasn't even on purpose. It was just an unconscious answer of her own mind. I had made that mistake myself. Since the moment I realized, since the moment I finally knew how I felt about her, I wasn't able to call Mrs. Higurashi _mother_.

"S-Sir? Kagome, dear, are you okay?" He had his eyebrows furrowed, his hands reluctantly reaching for her forehead. He kept glancing between the three of us, his cold golden eyes locking with my own. I wouldn't let it out though. I mirrored the stoic face he always had when keeping a secret from us. And ours was big.

"Y-Yes, I'm sorry- I- I don't know what-" I watched her closing her chocolate eyes before opening them with a smile. "I'm sorry, I guess it was just the shock. It's been so long!" The last sentence left her lips in a cheerful wave, her hand untangling itself from mine, only to lock around my father's form. I glanced at my mother who kept a relieved expression on her face, her chest letting out a long soft breath. I watched her exchange a proud look with Kagome, mouthing a small _thank you_.

"Well, uh-" She finally broke the laughter chain between father and Kagome, hers not being a true-hearted laughter. "Aren't you hungry sweetie? I can make you a snack if you want." She grabbed one of his arms pulling him along with her.

"Maybe you should ask Aiko to do it. You're not a very good cook, you know that honey?" He laughed when she punched his arm, not looking back at us.

I let my eyes roam to the line of her chin, her lips forming a small smile. She turned to me, her eyes watery and happy at the same time. I smiled reaching for her, my arms wrapping around her small body. Placing a small kiss on her forehead, I supported my cheek on the top of her head. I knew where we were getting. I knew it wouldn't be as easy as we thought. Especially since not nearly everything was settled.

"Kagome?" I felt her clutching closer to me, as if she was afraid I would let go. I was afraid of that myself. I smiled lightly touching her cheek. "I have one last thing to do."

She sighed looking up at me. I watched her lower her eyes before meeting mine again with acceptance.

"I know."

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"We're gonna talk a walk in the park. Do you wanna come sweetie?"_

_"Huh- no, no I'm good, thank you."_

_"Oh come on Kagome, we found the cutest little place. It's very secluded, and there's this tall tree in the middle, you wouldn't have to-"_

_"I said I'm fine."_

_"… Okay, call us if you change your mind."_

_…_

_"Bye honey."_

_"… Bye Kikyou."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I reached the large metal gates of the park in record time, my legs almost falling out from the race there. I let my breathing get leveled before walking inside, towards the place where we used to go. It was a secluded little space, surrounded by bushes and a tall tree standing gloriously in the middle. I remember finding this place. It was back when I was six or seven years old. I was trying to hide from Kagome. We were playing hide and seek again, and we had run out of hiding spots inside our house, so we decided to go play in the park.

I don't know why I brought her there. Maybe that was it. Maybe I was so caught up in my own mind, the one that decided to see them as mirrors of each other, that I didn't understand the repercussions. This was _our_ place. We had agreed on that. No one would ever know about it. It was our secret.

I caught a scent of morning due in the light breeze, my mind calming almost immediately. She had always had that power. She could understand and comfort me without much effort. Maybe it was because she looked so much like her. Because she was so much like her, in some ways. Of course they had their differences, their qualities and imperfections. But in a weird way, she made me believe that _she_ was there.

It was horrible, it was selfish and disgusting, to be with her while my heart was somewhere else. But I couldn't let go of her. She was my support column. She had been there when I was at rock bottom. And for that, I could never forget her.

"Kikyou?" She didn't turn around for a few seconds. She just stood there looking out in space. I watched her taking long deep breaths, her hands griping her elbows. I could tell she was trying to protect herself. As if she needed time, space to prepare herself for what was to come.

"Your voice, on the phone-" She turned a little so I could see the side of her face. Her lips were trembling, her voice was hoarse like she had been crying. The words left her lips with uncertainty, as if she wanted me to just come out and say it. She did want to prolong our pain.

"…I can't keep doing this." My eyes lowered when she let tears fall down, a small whimper leaving her lips. I walked slowly to her side, my arms wrapping themselves around her as soon as her body was in reach. " I can't keep doing this to you." I rocked her gently from side to side, her tears falling to my shirt. She buried her head deeper in my chest, her sobs getting muffled.

We stayed in each other arms for what looked like an eternity, silence now engulfing the air. I felt her stirring, her body still close to mine. She looked up at me with a bright yet pained smile on her face. And that's when I realized why I loved her. Yes, I did love her. I loved her as the person that helped me when my heart was too weak to recover on its own. I loved her as the only one that, without knowing, knew all along. I loved her as a true friend.

"I'm sorry if I couldn't do anything for the two of you." My eyes frantically sought hers, her voice as sweet as I remembered. She tilted her head in a sweet manner before smiling. I felt moisture wetting my eyes, my arms holding her with all the strength I had.

"I owe you so much." I felt her hand touching my cheek, asking me to let her look into my eyes.

"I owe you more."She whispered letting more tears slid down her face. "Tell Kagome I don't regret it." I looked down at her blushed skin. "I don't regret trying, at least." I understood then. She had known. She had known for probably longer than I had myself. And she still stayed. She stayed by my side.

I felt her tugging my cheek before placing a small kiss in my lips. I froze, not responding but not stopping her either. It was so soft, a feather's touch. There was nothing passionate about it, no lust, no love.

Just a goodbye.


	14. Chapter 14

I closed the door slowly, not wanting to wake her. Taking small steps at a time, I reached the large bed, her small body wrapped in the delicate sheets. I smiled crouching beside her, admiring her peaceful form. She was so beautiful, beyond perfection. I let my hand roam through the silk fabric, reaching her flawless skin. My fingers traced the soft line of her lips, her only response being a small whimper and an almost bite. I muffled a laugh caressing her cheeks lightly. I used to do it when we were little, and she would always unconsciously try to bite my fingers off. She looked so sweet, so adorable.

I felt a light breeze coming in from the open window, a cool sensation appeasing my heartbeat. I watched her intently as her body trembled and clutched the sheets closer. She had probably come into my room early in the night, right after I had left. I got up from the floor marching my way to the window, the sudden quietness making me calm. I shouldn't be happy. I shouldn't even be relieved. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't help the way waves of adrenaline ran through my body the minute I walked outside the park. I was going to miss her. She had been my friend ever since the day I met her. But I didn't truly love her. Not the way she wanted me to. That part of my heart belonged to the girl sleeping peacefully in front of me.

I let a small smile graze my lips, the mere thought of being with her putting my mind in overdrive. She was my best friend. She was the one that could calm my stubborn head and with the same ease make me run furious. She was everything to me.

I let my body fall beside hers, her calm breathing forcing me to clutch closer. I wrapped my arms around her lithe body, her head now resting in the crook of my neck. I felt her stiffening before laying her right arm around my chest, her legs getting tangled with mine. She sighed before lightly brushing her full lips against the skin of my neck, her warm breath caressing my flesh and making shivers run down my spine. I closed my eyes before lightly grabbing her forearm, pushing her away. It had been a bad idea. Of course I couldn't be this close to her and hope to fall asleep. We couldn't do this now.

"Inuyasha?" Her sleepy whimper made me look down at her. She was glancing down her body, probably wondering how she ended up resting on top of me. I watched her rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, just as I child would do. I smiled helping her sit up straight, my body coming to rest to the head of the bed. Finally, she looked up at me, her lips tilting up in a small smile. Her eyes travelled down our bodies, a blush creeping its way up her cheeks.

"…H-How d-did-?" I smirked pulling her closer to me. I couldn't care less about what we were or weren't supposed to do. I needed to have her close to me. To feel her close to me. The past few weeks had been a real live torture, and I wasn't going to let us fall on that again. Not again.

"I don't know. When I got home you were already asleep." I brushed a black strand of hair from her pale face, allowing my fingers to test its softness. She sighed crawling to my lap, her head resting on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, my nose burying in her soft hair.

"Your mother convinced him to go to dinner with her tonight."

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"I told you. There's nothing wrong Yashie. Just forget about it. We'll go home, and they'll stop, right?"_

_"Of course they won't! They'll try to hurt you again tomorrow! Those sissies don't know who they're dealing with! I'll kill them before they get near you!"_

_"They're third graders! You'll get your ass kicked with one swipe!"_

_"Don't you have any faith in me, you idiot?"_

_"…I do."_

_…_

_"I couldn't protect you when that stupid girl from your class tried to throw you in the pool. But that won't happen again."_

_…_

_"Never again."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I watched her tilting her head up so that her eyes could meet mine. She was still blushing, but her chocolate orbs were now gleaming with confidence. She fisted her small hands in my shirt, her teeth biting her bottom lip in nervousness, a silent begging. I knew what she was saying. I knew what she wanted from me. But I couldn't decide whether it was the right thing to do or not.

"Kagome-" I felt one slender finger curling around my lips. She lightly brushed it against them, her eyes following the movement. I could see her bright eyes getting moistened, her body forcing its way against mine.

"I'm afraid Yashie." Her face got closer to mine, our lips barely touching. "K-Kouga, he might-" I frowned listening to her broken whispers. "He said two days." She closed her eyes, fruitlessly trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to erupt. "…And your father. Your mother can't handle him for much longer."

I tightened my grip around her body, my arms pulling her up slightly, her face getting hidden in my hair. She was right. We weren't doing this out of free will. There was a time limit before the bomb exploded. And my mother. She was putting herself through all this just to help us. Just to redeem herself. To pay a price she wasn't even supposed to.

I felt her turning her neck to the side, her lips now a breath away from mine. I felt her moving in my arms, her eyes lifting to clash with my own. Gods, how I loved this woman. After everything we'd been through, after everything I'd done to her, she still managed to look me in the eye with a warm smile on her face.

I held her closer, my hand roaming to her mid-back. I watched her close her eyes in anticipation, her lips parting. "Forget about the past." I sighed contently at her pleading tone. I wanted to. How I wanted to. But those memories were hard to erase.

Her soft murmur brought me back from my daydream. I lifted my head to see her leaning towards me, her eyes locking with mine. I finally allowed her to close the last space between us, her warm lips stroking mine lightly. I felt her shifting in my lap, her mild whimper taking my attention to her position. Never breaking the growing kiss, I clasped her waist bringing her body forward.

I was getting lost again. The heat seeping through her body, her clumsy movements and the passion she held in that single kiss made a boiling sensation grow in the pit of my stomach. I felt my blood getting warmer, my vision clouded. I broke the kiss giving us both the time to breathe. I opened my eyes slightly, her confused expression staring back at me. She lowered her eyes before coming closer again. I felt her hands tracing the muscles on my chest, her lips making a trail down my neck.

"There will be nobody else." I heard my husky voice whispering. I watched her trying to mutter something, her eyes closing. I knew it didn't matter anymore. She was already far too gone for explanations. Whatever happened, happened.

"I'll never make you cry again." I broke my promise instantly as my claws dig in her flesh, making a hot salty tear run down her cheek. "I'll never hurt you again." I kissed the mark on her collarbone. "And I won't let you go." She managed to open her clouded eyes. "Not again."

"…Ya-shie?" Her whisper came brokenly as I buried my fangs in the exact same place the mark was laying.

"Never again."

* * *

**I'm sorry for the wait and the short chapter guys :( believe me, it's needed...**


	15. Chapter 15

She was crying again. Her hands were hugging a piece of crumpled paper against her heart, so much like the life I've always known she was living. I've never known her in any other way. Her spirit was so broken. So hurt. Her kind words always washed me with a melancholy I didn't want her to feel, her gentle touches marred with nostalgia. Ever since the day I could remember.

They were rare. Her smiles. Those celestial moments when she would let a bit of happiness color her eyes, the heavy sighs coming soon after. I just couldn't understand. I couldn't understand why she would feel regret. Sorrow. Pain. The masked emotions killing her from the inside. She would barely speak. I could feel her struggling every time I tried to make her open to me. Words of apology were the only ones she would pronounce with no effort. She felt responsible for something. Something I wanted to know desperately, to help her. Something I wanted to stay away from, for it haunted her dreams.

I watched her carefully unfolding the mistreated paper, her fingers grazing over its marred folds. Getting closer to the window, I finally understood what it was. A picture. A simple picture. It was strange, though. There were no pictures in our home. Not a single trail of memories from our past. They always told me it was because the present is what counts. And that's what we should hold on to.

She let one tear slid down her cheeks, tainting the glassy memory. Her trembling fingers almost immediately cleaned the warm liquid, her eyes frantically shifting, making sure it wasn't ruined. She eyed the marred photo before crumpling it again in her small hands. It was like she wanted to forget. To make the memories that small piece of paper brought wash away. And at the same time, cherish it. As if it was the only thing left in the world. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was the past she was hiding. Maybe that was what had been killing her all these years.

And I hated it. I hated it because it made her suffer. I hated it because it didn't let her be happy. I hated it because it didn't let me meet the real her. The woman I loved the most. The one that I faintly remembered as being smiles and laughs.

"Mother?" I opened the door, carefully walking through the fallen leaves, sitting beside her in the cold stone. Her body stiffened, her shock obvious as she didn't hear me coming. I saw her quickly wiping her tears away as her hands frantically tried to hide the photograph.

"Please?" I smiled slightly, offering her my hand. Her watery eyes locked with mine as her head shook from side to side. I could hear her heart beating faster in her chest, waves of nervousness washing her veins. "Can I see it?" I got closer to her, my voice soft and understanding. I wanted to know. I needed to know. I needed to know what was hurting her. What was that made her cry for all this years.

Her hurt eyes glanced up, fresh tears running down her skin. She was begging me not to do it. Not to ask that of her. She probably wouldn't be able to handle it. She was scared, terrified of my reaction.

"There's nothing to see sweetie." Her whisper was just like any other word that left her lips. Pained. But there was something different. She didn't sound uncertain. She didn't clutch to her words as if her life depended on it. She wanted me to know. She was desperate for me to know the truth. To let the weight off of her shoulders. To let me help her. And I was more than happy to do it. I wanted to know. I wanted her to let me know.

"It'll be okay Mom." I smiled caressing her face, her eyes breaking in tears again. Her tired body fell against mine, her head resting on my shoulder. She fisted her hands around my neck, her hard sobs running through me. I hugged her closer, giving her the encouragement she so desperately wanted. We stayed like that for as long as we needed. Because I needed it. I needed to feel connected to her. I needed to be in her embrace, making up for the faint memories I tried so hard to keep. Memories of when I was just a pup, and she would rock me back and forth in my bed until I fell asleep. Memories that disappeared as quickly as they came back. I didn't know a thing about my past. I didn't know a thing about myself.

I felt her pulling away from me, a warm smile adorning her adorable features. She was slowly becoming at peace. Just for that single action. I watched her reaching inside her robe, taking out the small picture. Her eyes were red and heavy, calm. Her gaze shifted between me and the portrait, the little uncertainty she had left dying.

My eyes followed every movement of her delicate fingers as they unfolded the small paper.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Why can't we play hide and seek?"_

_"Because I say so!"_

_"Well who made you king of the world?"_

_"Me! And I'm the older one so I get to decide!"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I felt something stirring inside me, blood rushing through my veins, eager to entice my uncontrolled heart further. There was something calling out to me, begging me to understand. To remember. I've had that memory. I've had it since forever. Since I woke up that morning, my head throbbing painfully. Just like it was now. My mind was swirling, bright flashes clashing with my eyes, confusion melting my every nerve.

I glanced at my mother's hopeful eyes, her lips quivering with anticipation. She knew. She knew what would happen. She wanted it to happen. She wanted me to remember who that was. Who that girl was.

I could hear a faint whisper inside my head. My heart. Something was telling me to try. To try as hard as my weak soul permitted. And die trying if needed.

"Who is she?" The words left my mouth without my consent. It was an unconscious reaction, my other half locking me away and taking control. My brain stopped working as I waited impatiently for an answer. Anything that would help me understand. Understand why. Why I remembered those eyes. Why I knew that expression. Why I recognized that voice.

I thought she was a product of my imagination. An illusion of someone I was supposed to meet but never got the chance to. She reminded me of something. Something I didn't even know. Something I wanted to know. Desperately. And she appeared everywhere. When I went to sleep, when I woke up. When I looked in the mirror. And then she would vanish just as quickly so that I couldn't memorize her face.

There was never a whole memory, something that would give me a hint about my past. All there was were bits of an unfinished puzzle. I heard her voice. I saw her smile. I watched her eyes shed tears. But never her.

"Someone you don't know." I felt my mother's soft hand caressing my cheek before slowly retracting, her figure disappearing behind the imposing trees that blocked the view of our secluded mansion.

I felt a light breeze running through the leaves, the forgotten portrait falling gracefully on the slightly wet dirt. My eyes followed the movement, my body refusing to catch the marred paper. She reminded me of her. Of the woman I was in love with. That girl, that beautiful girl, the child who was smiling at me, proudly showing her toothless smile, reminded me of the one I loved.

"Inuyasha?" Her voice was soft, embracing. The voice of the one I loved. Her calming scent reached me the moment she let herself be noticed. I turned around slowly, taking in the sight of her beautiful form swaying with the light wind. "Are you ready to go?" I let my eyes roam to her face, her lips turning up in a small smile. "The movie, remember silly?" Her head tilted to the side, her arm reaching to touch mine.

I smiled taking her hand in mine. I loved this girl. I loved her since I could remember. She had always been there. She had been with me since the moment I woke up that morning, her tears the first thing my heart took in.

Back then, I had felt so weak, so desperate. I had wanted to move, to scream, to tear everything apart. I wanted to rip my insides with my bare hands, to put an end to the pain shooting through my body, sharp burning stabs digging their way to my ruthless heart. I wanted release. My demon blood wanted release. To prevent something from happening. Something that, somehow, it already knew it was too late to stop. I tried so hard. I tried so hard to remember. I tried so hard to know what it was that was tore from me and made me want to die. And at the same time, the one thing that kept me going.

There were months, years, unable to do a thing about it. Unable to let the wild, merciless side of my soul take over and find what it so desperately craved for. I would wake up, every two days, every three weeks, every damned four months, to find that nothing had changed.

I was unable to die. Yet unable to live.

But she had always been by my side. Always. She would hold my hand, she would clean beads of sweat off my face, she would feed me, she would let her head rest against my arm, she would brush my hair, she would caress my face whenever I felt uneasy.

I was dead for two years.

Missing something I didn't even know.

And she had been there.

"How could I ever forget you?" I placed one small kiss on her forehead before wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "My Kikyou."

* * *

**... don't kill me please *.* Things will be clarified in the next chapters :) Any questions, ask me!**


	16. Chapter 16

She was reaching her extremes, getting to a point of despair I had never seen her suffering from. Not even on those unmerciful nights, when I would hear her silently crying in her pillow, praying to the heavens for no one to hear her. She wanted to dwell on the pain on her own, to remain the calm collected person everyone knew. Or at least the one I knew. She tried. She really did try to remain composed, not to cry. Not to let the sorrow devouring her heart be noticed. It didn't matter though. I knew her. I knew her all too well. And at the same time, I didn't. I didn't recognize the woman trembling in front of me. She would always be in my mind. And she would always, always be smiling.

I don't remember. I don't remember anything about my life. Nothing that happened before that morning. Nothing more than her aged, tired, sad smile. Nothing more than her caring words. The unmeasured apologies, the desperate sobs for forgiveness. I couldn't comprehend. I couldn't understand why she so desperately wanted my pardon, what it was that was haunting her to the point of abandon. I still can't. I still don't know. I don't know who she is. I don't know what she has done. What sin she has committed that forces her to believe I wouldn't forgive her. Wouldn't love her anymore.

How could I not? The woman I cherish the most in the whole word. The woman who I would gladly give my life for. My own mother.

I watched her picking up the small velvet box from the nightstand, her fingers caressing the golden adornments. Her eyes were wide, her mouth agape in astonishment. Her lips tried to whisper broken words, as if they were a curse she didn't want to believe in. She knew what that was. She knew what it meant.

I knew what it meant.

"Izayoi?" I flew down the hall as soon as I heard my father's voice, the glorious marble pedestals concealing me from his austere gaze. I heard him stopping in his tracks, slowly turning his attention to where I was trying to hide. I felt him taking a deep breath, surveying the area, quickly forgetting about my supposed presence. He had probably figured the scent had come from my bedroom, the white door slightly ajar. I needed to know what was happening. I needed to know why she had been so bothered. Why she had been so bothered, all these years.

"What is this?" I heard her almost shouting, her breathing getting quicker by the second. There was fear laced with her scent, panic even. I didn't understand. I didn't understand why she felt so scared, so broken.

"It's a locket." She almost screamed in desperation at my father's lack of emotions, tears now welling in her eyes. I wanted to go in there. I wanted to go in there and ask her. Demand for explanations. Hold her in my arms. Let her tell me why.

"It's a mating locket! It's our family's mating locket!" I reached the door quietly, her screams muffling my steps. I saw anger swimming in her eyes. And in his. He couldn't even detect my scent anymore.

"It is. The one a female must wear to complete the ritual and truly become part of our family." He stated calmly. A knowing smile made its way to his lips, as if he knew she was suffering, and even so, he kept crushing her, hurting her to the point of madness. "Thus why a mate can never be part of the family already."

"No! No, just stop it! You know that's not true! Y-You know! Y-You-" I clenched my fist as she broke in tears, her hands griping the sacred golden locket with all the force she had. Her eyes clashed with his, pained screams leaving her lips. She tried to tousle it, rip it, break it- nothing seemed to work. The gold chain was too strong for her fragile hands. Hands that were now bleeding from her unmeasured efforts.

My father's hands were holding hers the moment the scent of her blood reached his nostrils, preventing her for hurting herself further. He tossed the golden locket to where she couldn't reach it, landing next to me on the hard floor. I let my eyes roam the thorough details, the small rubies adorning the heart-shaped piece losing their gleam. Whenever I thought about it, something inside me snapped. The terrifying voice in my soul, dying to be released from its bonds, dared me to even try. I loved her. I loved Kikyou with all my heart. And yet, something didn't feel right. Something told me that locket wasn't supposed to be hers.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Really? We can play hide and seek?"_

_"Yeah, sure, whatever."_

_"Oh thank you Yashie!"_

_"He-hey calm down you idiot! Do you want to knock the air out of me?"_

_…_

_"I love you Yashie"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

It kept happening. Now more than ever. Ever since she had showed me that picture. Ever since I had seen that little girl. That little girl's smile. The memories were happy. They were from a time I didn't know I had lived in. I hadn't lived in. They were dreams. They were illusions. I didn't know her. I had never met her. So how? How could she just pop out of nowhere? How could she remind me so much of something… something? Something I didn't have.

Reaching inside my shirt, I glanced at the small portrait. I kept it with me. I didn't know why.

"I had already told you." My father's voice deepened, his eyes as serious as death itself. "Everything in this world can be replaced." He griped her wrist forcefully, pulling her closer to him. "Mating marks are no exception." I was about to let myself be noticed at my mother's whimper of pain- until I heard it. What I had been asking myself through all this time. "And it's time to replace the mistake you were responsible for three years ago."

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Y-You c-can't do this! You can't Inutaisho! I won't allow it!"_

_"Don't make this harder on yourself Izayoi. Just accept it."_

_"No! I won't accept it! You have no right to do it! You have no right to keep them apart! Who are you to decide whether they should be together or not?"_

_"…Stop it Izayoi. I don't want to have to hurt you too."_

_"You're hurting me anyway! How can you do this to your own son?"_

_"Drastic times require drastic measures."_

_"You can't keep them apart! They grew up together! They love each other! How can you even think of breaking their bond?"_

_"Just as easily as they broke my trust."_

_…_

_"How do you even suppose you can keep him restrained from her?"_

_"He doesn't need to know where she is, now does he?"_

_"His demon side will go insane! You know you can't keep him from his mate!"_

_"… Not if I keep it locked."_

_"W-What?"_

_…_

_"N-No. N-No! No! You can't! __You know what that will do to your son! Your own son Inutaisho! Our son!"_

_"I know what it will do! I know what the consequences are! But that doesn't matter! They must not see each other again! They can't! They won't!"_

_"He'll die Inutaisho! Your son will die from the pain!"_

_"He will not die! You think I would allow my son, my own blood, to give up that easily?"_

_"You're not giving him a choice! Keeping him from living! Keeping him for freeing himself! He'll go insane!"_

_"Then that's a price we must pay."_

_"Putting our son through agony? Uncertain of whether he will wake up in the next morning?"_

_"They're brother and sister! She's a daughter to me! She's a daughter to you! It's horrible, disgusting! It's against nature!"_

_"They're not blood related! You don't choose these things Inutaisho! You can't command your heart!"_

_"They should have figured it before it got this far!"_

_"That doesn't matter! They tried! I watched our son suffering! I watched Kagome suffering! They tried! But you can't boss your heart around! It's not in our hands!"_

_"Anything is possible if you want it bad enough."_

_…_

_"Then why didn't you stop your love for a human?"_

_"W-What?"_

_"Why didn't you stop yourself from falling in love with a human? A simple mortal that came to ruin the family you already had?"_

_"Stop it Izayoi!"_

_"Why couldn't you figure it out before it got too far?!"_

_…_

_"Because I wanted to replace a mistake."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I felt the blood rushing through my veins, bathing my soul with all the force it had left. With all the hope of getting back the memories it so desperately wanted. I could feel my body pulsing, the undying need of setting my demon free I had known since the time I was sick in that bed, coming back with full force. My vision was getting blurry, thirst for something I still didn't know regaining its life.

But something was restraining me. Just like before, something was keeping me locked. I wanted to let my claws grow. Something slashed them in the middle. I wanted to let my demonic side take over. Something would purify it until it had calmed down.

I took a deep breath, trying to regain focus on their conversation. I had already heard that. I remembered that. When had that happened? What had they done to me? I gripped my hair tightly, trying to remember. Desperately trying to remember. I needed to know. I had to know! What did that memory mean? What sister? What other family?

"I wasn't the one who made a mistake Inutaisho! I wasn't the one who disrespected a mating bond! I wasn't the one who made my son go through all sorts of torture just to get him to forget about the one he loved the most! I wasn't the one who played with his true nature, driving him to madness!" I felt my body stiffening, her words racing through my brain. "Do you want to know who I was? I was the one who had to lie to him! I was the one who had to see him dying with each passing hour! I was the one who stood by him even after he couldn't remember my own name!"

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"You can't."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

"You tied your son to a bed! You enticed his demon side to take over just to keep it locked! You made him stay in that state of madness! You made him suffer with all the memories of their childhood! And you didn't let him go! You didn't let him go find his mate!"

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"You know what I mean Kagome."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

"You held a piece of bread in front of a starving man locked with chains! You made him feel nothing but the pain of losing the one he loved! His mate! You forged that damned sword on purpose just to keep his demon side at bay! Because you knew! You knew it wouldn't just keep him silent! You knew it wouldn't just calm it down and get things back to normal! You knew he would be stronger than that! You knew our son would be stronger and still be able to fight for her! And you knew they would collide! And you knew he would lose the battle! You knew he would slowly drive himself insane from the pain! To the point of where this has gotten! Where he can't even remember her! Where he'll be forever apart from her! Where he can find another mate! A replacement!"

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"You're my sister."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

"…Not really a full-demon, not really his normal self…"

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"And that's all you'll ever be."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

"But you know what? You're going to end up pushing him away. Just like you did Sesshoumaru-" I heard what I thought I would never hear in my entire life. I loud snap echoed through the mansion, a small whimper coming soon after.

"Everything I did was for you! Everything I did was to fix a mistake! Not to replace it by another!" I couldn't speak. I couldn't hear. I couldn't breathe. All I could think about was the pain. The pain of that strike. The pain of that simple action."Don't you talk about what you don't know." I stayed still, paralyzed. "Kikyou is good for him." His tone got deep, menacingly. "But you're right. I did replace it." I faintly heard her crying, her voice soft, barely above a whisper. She didn't have any strength left.

"Then what's the point?"

There was a sudden quietness, nothing but the outside marine breeze playing with the fallen leaves could be heard. I was dead, paralyzed. My body wouldn't move. My mind wouldn't think. I let my eyes follow my father's figure as he left the bedroom, not worrying about a second explanation. His fists were clenched at his side, his head bowed.

I glanced inside the dimmed room, my mother's sobs filling my ears. She was holding her legs against her chest like a lost child, her face buried in her arms. I could smell her tears. Her sorrow. Her pain. Her frustration. Her hatred. She rocked herself back and forth, her cries getting more desperate instead of calming down. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help her. I didn't know what to think.

All this time. All this accursed time, they had been lying to me. They had me living in a world that wasn't even mine. They hid my past. They made me believe I couldn't remember. They made me forget. They made me become someone I wasn't even sure I could be.

They drove me to madness. They kept me in there. They didn't even care!

They made me forget. They kept me from _her_. They kept someone else beside me to ease the pain of losing someone I couldn't afford to lose!

_He_ made all of that! _Him_ and his rules! _Him_ and his ethics! _Him_ and his selfish beliefs about what's right or wrong! _Him_ who so desperately wants to replace mistakes!

"Kagome." Her voice was so weak, so vulnerable. I glanced down to see her crouching beside me, her hands caressing the face of the beautiful girl in the picture. Her eyes were watery, sad, desolated. She was trying not to cry with every fiber of her body. I watched her turning her soft gaze to me, her expression understanding. She already knew I had heard. She already knew there was no point in going back now.

"That's her name. Kagome." She smiled before letting her head fall against my chest. I held her with all the strength I possessed, comforting her for the times I hadn't been there. For the times I didn't remember. None of us was to blame. None of us could do anything.

"I know. I remember." I felt her body stiffening, her head snapping up to look me in the eye, searching for any lie behind my words.

"I just don't remember her."

* * *

**Now it's official, we're almost there :)  
Again, a huge thank you to my dear friend Instant Noodler who helped me get this chapter cleared up! But if you guys still want me to explain something a little better (I know I can be a little clumsy with words :s) please tell me and I'll do my best to help you :)**


	17. Chapter 17

I let my fingers caress her wrist before placing a small loving kiss on her knuckles, her hands still trembling with fear. Fear of him. Fear of my reaction. Fear of not knowing what to do. I could feel her eyes following my movements as I wrapped the last bandage around her right hand, small drops of blood tainting the white cloth. I glanced at the picture resting on her lap, her hands quickly darting to mine. I smiled griping her injured fingers carefully, reassuring her it would be okay.

"So Kagome, huh?" My voice lacked the certainty I wanted it to have- it trembled, my lips unwonted with the foreign name. Yet, it seemed so familiar. Like I had said it thousands of times. Like I had screamed it thousands of times. Like it was the one word I didn't recognize, yet the one I wanted to hear the most. Yes, that was her name. The toothless little girl smiling back at me was _Kagome_. I knew it.

My mother's eyes darted back to mine, the caring words hidden behind the watery shine. She smiled softly gripping my hand tighter, her forehead coming to rest on top of mine. She understood- and she wanted me to understand too. Something that I should have known already. Something I knew. I didn't have to pretend. I didn't have to be strong. I didn't have to hide behind rough words. I didn't have to force myself not to break and let out all the pent up frustration eating my heart out.

"You don't remember her?" It wasn't a question. She knew I didn't. I had told her I didn't. But there was something in her words. She wanted me to. She needed me to. There was hope laced with her tone, a tiny speck of trust. Trust in me. That I would come to my senses. That I would suddenly end the nightmare.

I couldn't.

"I don't." I whispered , a sudden feeling of longing bathing my memory. I knew that girl. God, I knew her so well. If I searched deep enough I would probably know everything about her. Every last secret. Every last memory. And I wanted to know her. Something inside me already did.

I watched her taking a deep breath before looking straight into my eyes. Straight into my heart. Like she knew it might hurt. It would hurt. She knew I wanted to know. Everything. Her smile was comforting because she wanted to ease my pain. Her smile was nostalgic because she missed the times when nothing more needed to be said. Her smile was just hers.

"She was everything to you."

And really, that was all she needed to tell me.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Leaving?"_

_ "…I need to go for a walk."_

_ "I heard you arguing with mother."_

_ "…It was just a little disagreement that is all."_

_ "Father?"_

_…_

_"If you ever touch her again, I won't be held responsible for my actions."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

She always changed around her. She just wouldn't be the same giving person I knew and loved. The person who would accept all my mistakes. The person who would forgive them. The person who would harbor a homeless man for the rest of her life if needed. Everyone was family to her. Everyone deserved to be given a chance.

"I-I'm sorry for just dropping by- I-Aiko let me in-" I watched her breathing heavily, her fingers gripping the paper at her side. She was nervous. "I-I need to talk to you Izayoi." She bit her bottom lip as my mother's eyes scanned her form, her gaze calm. Cold. "It's important." She added as the woman holding my hand made no movement. She had treated her like that since the moment I remember. Since that morning. Kikyou was not to blame. For any of this. For anything that had happened. But in my mother's eyes, she was someone to be careful around. Someone who might steal me completely away from her. Out of her reach. Someone coming in between.

I eyed her trembling form, her eyes shifting around the room, trying to find the strength to stand there in silence. Her gaze landed on me, the silent prayer for help going unnoticed in my blazed expression. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think anymore.

Her gasp brought me back from my daydream, her eyes wide and nervous. She was gapping as words refused to be formed in her parted lips, her chest heaving with each deep intake of air. The photograph. Her eyes were locked with the small portrait lying in my mother's lap. She knew her. She knew who that was. She knew who _Kagome_ was.

Her eyes shifted between my mother's form and mine. They were asking for answers. They were asking for explanations. Her head turned, ever so slowly, meeting my own gaze. She understood then. There was nothing to hide anymore. There was nothing keeping me from my past.

She understood that. She didn't want to bear with it anymore.

"I found her." Her legs wobbled across the room, quickly going back to their spot next to the door as soon as she handed my mother the little piece of paper. "My father was able to get it through the phone records of that day." She pointed to the small piece of paper trembling in my mother's hands. "There was a medical record at Central Carolina Hospital under the name Higurashi." She breathed locking her eyes with mine.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Really? We can play hide and seek?"_

_"Yeah, sure, whatever."_

_"Oh thank you Yashie!"_

_"He-hey calm down you idiot! Do you want to knock the air out of me?"_

_…_

_"I love you Yashie"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I felt something inside me dying, losing all its support, and at the same time regaining its strength at her statement. My blood got warmer, my breathing sharper. No. I had just found her. I had just realized that all meaning of my life started with her. I wasn't going to lose her again.

I had to know what she had been to me. That's all I would ask for. I couldn't ask her to come to me. I couldn't ask her to remember the life we had once lived and none of us knew. I couldn't ask her to love me after this. After never knowing me. But I had to know her. I had to remember my past.

"Just fix things." Her whisper flew as she ran down the hall, her eyes holding back the tears threatening to erupt. She was broken, trying to slowly recover from the shock that hit her just minutes ago. She knew. She knew it would happen someday. She wanted it to happen. She wanted to help me remember. She wanted to help me find her. Yet, something told me that deep inside her, she was suffering as much as I was.

"Kikyou!" She stopped as soon as I yelled her name, her head hanging low. I took small steps at a time not to scare her, getting closer to her numb form. I had always known. I had always known she couldn't heal all my wounds. I had always known that locket didn't belong to her. I had always known I couldn't come to love her the way she did. But I wanted to. God, how I wanted to! I wanted to have someone that meant that much to me. To have someone to fight for.

"Your father didn't want you to suffer more than you already had to." She turned to me slowly, her eyes glued to the floor. "God you didn't even have to suffer." Her voice was getting lower, yet her regretful cries grew. "I couldn't stop him. I couldn't do a thing about it."Her eyes met mine, hot tears running down her face. "So I settled for second best." She trailed off. "Staying by you." I barely heard her whisper, my arms going around her small form.

I gripped her tightly, almost to the point of pain. I didn't want to let go of her. I didn't want her to go. She was the one that supported me. She was the one that suffered with me. She was the one who would never let me down. She was…safe.

"Kikyou I-" The words died in my lips as soon as she held her finger against them. She knew what I was going to say. And she didn't want to hear it. But I meant it. I knew her. She was the only thing I knew about my past.

Her soft laugh made me look her in the eye, her caring smile warming my heart.

"You love what you know." She caressed my cheek before unwrapping my arms around her waist. "But you still don't know the one you love."

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"-S-see? I t-told y-you we could d-do it!"_

_"Y-yeah, a-and n-now we have a v-very angry A-Aiko running after us!"_

_"- I-I know! I-isn't t-this fun?"_

_"Ha-ha- y-yeah!"_

_…_

_"W-we'll b-be together i-in everything, r-right Yashie?"_

_…_

_"Y-Yeah!"_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

There was silence. Pure silence. None of us wanted to say anything. None of us wanted to miss even a whisper coming from the other line, the constant beeping resonating in my head. Like a countdown. Countdown to the beginning of my life. I wanted to know. I wanted to know her so badly. I wanted to see the person who had made me actually fight in the past. The person I cried for. The person who made me go insane.

Mother hadn't told me anything about her. And I didn't want her to. I wanted to be able to get those memories back on my own. I wanted to see her with my own eyes. I wanted to hear her voice. And remember.

"_Hello_?" It was weak. So weak. The word came as a pained whisper. Vague. Opaque. Hurt.

"T-Tamako?"My mother's voice was equally vulnerable, her fingers griping the black phone with all her strength. She knew this person. She loved this person.

"_…W-Who is this_?" She had obviously known. The woman on the other side was being cautious, afraid for something I still had to figure out.

My mother flinched, her breathing now coming short pants. She was trying to stay calm. I watched a tear run down her beautiful face, her eyes shutting tightly, desperately trying to maintain control of her emotions.

"T-Tamako it's me, Izayoi." I picked up the sound of a gulp. "Please don't hang up, I beg of you!" I turned to watch her frantically brushing the hair of her face.

"_I-Izayoi_-" There was a small intake of breath on the other side of the line. A forced confession. "_Y-You shouldn't- You shouldn't- H-How? How did you even-" _The woman took a moments to gain control of her voice before continuing."_How did you even find us_?"

"That doesn't matter! Please just tell me! Has something happened to Kagome? Where are you? What happened to you?" She got up from the small chair and paced around the room as a long moment of no reaction followed her questions.

"_A lot of things have happened since that day Izayoi_." Her words were slowly breaking, as if she needed this just as much as we did, but something wouldn't let her tell us the truth.

"There was a medical record." She hesitated before confessing, her voice shaking. But I could feel it. I could feel determination flowing around her. I could feel she wouldn't stop. She wouldn't stop until _things were fixed_. "Inuyasha-" Her eyes locked with mine at the whimper from the other end of the line. "-he knows."

Silence. Nothing more than that.

Nothing less.

She gave up.

"_K-Kouga h-he_-" I felt something inside me stir. My demon. He recognized this person. He knew what she was saying. _"-he came after us. We were able to protect her for a while b-but-_" I could hear her tears. I could almost feel them. As if they were my own. "-a _few weeks ago he- he went crazy when he found out-_" She stopped abruptly, a small gasp following her confession. There was something. Something had happened. Something I didn't know. Something not my mother, not my father- nobody knew. Chills were running down my spine, warning me to be prepared.

"Found out about what?" My mother asked quickly. She knew she was backing out. She knew that person was getting afraid, terrified to go to the bitter end. "Tamako found out about what? What did he do to our daughter?" Her eyes searched for mine. For forgiveness. She knew that would hurt. That simple word would hurt. But I couldn't blame her . I could never blame her. She loved the girl. _Kagome_.

"_Inutaisho sent us away for a reason Izayoi_." She was desperate for a change in the subject, as if the recognition of what she had almost said pained her to no end. "_It can never happen. Inuyasha doesn't need to know._" Her voice got firm, determinate."_And I have to protect my baby girl. She has been through enough._"

"No! No, please! Listen to me! You can't do this Tamako! You have to tell us! Where are you? We can find you! We can help you!" I barely caught her as she let her fragile body fall on the floor, her legs losing all their strength. "They're mates." She whispered locking her eyes with mine, tears falling freely down her skin.

I heard a small whimper.

"_They will always have a bond Izayoi_." Her tone was different. Sad. Pleading. She wanted us to know. "_And it's not just a mating mark_."

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"I'll never make you cry again."_

_"I'll never hurt you again."_

_"And I won't let you go."_

_"Not again."_

_"Never again."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I leaned against the wall, waiting for him to come, the chilly night breeze coming in from the window. I watched the car taking off, her blazed smile giving me the last encouragement I needed. This would be hard. My own father. He used to play with me when we went to the park- that was one of the few memories I still had. He used to tell me I was going to achieve more than he had ever. He used to tell me he wouldn't hide anything from me.

I wasn't going to yell. I wasn't going to hurt him. I wasn't going to demand for anything.

"Inuyasha?" His voice was husky from the outside freezing wind.

I wasn't going to explain anything.

"Your blood may be my blood-" I walked towards his imposing figure, reaching for the tall wooden doors that would lead me to the outside. To my future. "-but your mistakes are not mine."

I handed him the small envelop, my mother's scent still lingering in the pale paper. His eyes followed me as I opened the large doors and took a last glance at him. He knew. He already knew. And he wasn't going to stop me.

I closed the door slowly as the scent of a tear tainted the air.

_I've always felt responsible. I couldn't do anything to help my son. Now that I can, I'm going to fight for it._

_As you once said, everything in this world can be replaced- mating marks are no exception. Don't make a mistake this time. Or replace it by another._

_I'll always love you, my dearest._

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

* * *

**I'm sad to say that next chapter is the final one...**


	18. Chapter 18

Our hands were tangled together, her fingers drawing calming circles in my skin, appeasing my heart-beat. Her fragile pale hand would squeeze mine from time to time, sending jolts of hope through my body. She wanted me to have faith, to believe it could still happen. I let my eyes close on hers, nothing but love reflecting in the warm chocolate irises. Her sad smile invaded my heart as she lifted our joined hands, hers much smaller than mine. Yet, she was the one holding me up. Keeping me from falling to the ground and give up. Give up trying.

Her eyes were now trailing the soft lines of soil breaking through the large framed boulders adorning the path of the serene cemetery, her feet carefully avoiding the rich colorful flowers. She had done everything for me. She had stood up and helped me find her. She had stayed, all this time. Her eyes were tired, nervous. Yet gleaming with joy. Pure, raw sunshine.

We had found our family.

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

_"Mother?"_

_…_

_"Yes?"_

_"Are you okay?"_

_…_

_"No."_

_…_

_"But I'm at peace now."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

I let her hand slide away from mine as she stepped forward, her body aching to get closer to the aged woman sitting in the wooden bench. I watched as warm tears traced the soft features of her delicate face, her lips trembling with ghosts of the words she was desperately trying to pronounce. Words she wanted to say. Words she had wanted to say for three years. Three long, full of desperation years.

She had gotten older, her eyes sharing the pain they had been through with their soft gaze. The pain we had all been through. Her lips quivered with a knowing smile as she slowly turned around, greeting us with a warm tear-filled expression. I remembered her. I remembered her as my own mother. This woman would cuddle with us until we fell asleep. This woman would carefully brush strands of hair off our faces after we played ourselves to death on our backyard. This woman loved us- like equals. But just like Mother, she wanted our happiness.

"You just wouldn't give up until you found us, would you?" Her smile was forced as her eyes finally broke down in pained tears. I watched my mother running to her side, locking her in a comforting embrace. She was sobbing uncontrollably, her hands fisted in the strands of hair that would fall around her face. Her cries got louder, desperate, as if she had been waiting all this time. Waiting for us to come. Waiting for someone to come and take all away from her. Waiting for the heartache to vanish.

"He died a week ago-" Her whisper was that of a hurt child, lost in the cruel world. I heard my mother taking a deep breath of air, pushing away the desperate tears playing on the edge of her lids. "-I was the only one that could protect my baby girl." I realized then. I felt weak, pathetic, disgusted with myself. For feeling relieved. To know that it wasn't her. To know that she was still here. Still with me. Still a chance.

"How?" My mother managed to ask between hard sobs. They had been friends since forever. They had been family. Her best friend. And now, he was gone. As simple as that.

"H-He went crazy Izayoi-" I watched her glancing up, meeting my gaze. "K-Kouga he-" I clenched my fist the moment that name escaped her lips. I remembered. I remembered so well. "He broke in our house. He t-tried to go after her! He- He had a knife- He" I felt moister gather behind my golden eyes. "Rei went after him- he died in front of her eyes!" She was now screaming, her nails digging in my mother's arms.

"Why?" I asked coldly. I remembered. I remembered what she had said on the phone three days ago. He had been after her for a long time. They had been able to protect her. But he had found out about something. Something that drove him to madness. Something that made him want to take her last breath. Something that made him kill her father. And kill her inside.

She stayed still for what felt like hours, the wind drying her warm tears. She needed time. She needed time to even think about it. To bring back something that had been buried for so long. Something that had probably hurt more than any separation. Any bond that had been broken.

Her eyes lifted to meet mine. They were hurt. They were dulled. They were begging me for forgiveness.

"Your daughter died at September 4th, 2009"

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_"Do you regret it?"_

_…_

_"We'll always be family."_

_…_

_"I'll always love him."_

⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9⻖9

The beautiful pale rose of the petals dripped down the rough bark of the grandiose tree, the comfy cotton softness contrasting beautifully with the scratching wood. I ran my claws down its scales leaving soft shapeless trails, ripping the light petal in two halves. Two equal halves.

_Inuyasha!_

I let myself take one step further, bruising the grass below my feet. The green leaves danced every time a gush of wind tried to play with them, enticing them to fly higher. To let themselves be free.

_I love you Yashie._

I felt my skin shiver at the cold afternoon breeze, drinking the last resort of heat from my trembling body. I took a deep breath, letting the sweet aroma of the wild flowers calm my unbridled heart. The lavender scent mingling with the chilly air made a tear run down my cheek, landing far away in the soil.

_Why were you laughing?_

The sight was beautifully calm, the tall trees surrounding the grassy hill, secluding the magical place from the rest of the world. Every small white grave adorned with fallen rosy petals.

_I turned full demon._

Each one of the pale stones was as angel. An angel forbidden to come home. To bless the ones who loved him without even knowing him.

_Forget about the past._

I let my eyes rest for a minute, savoring the cold wind wiping away their sadness. The sun was setting, lost rays of light disappearing in the dimmed sky.

_Things used to be so simple Yashie._

I fell to my knees. My body giving up. Giving up hope.

_Sometimes, the ones we love are the ones we hurt the most._

My tears froze, dying in their path. I had heard it. A small whimper. A small whisper of pain.

_Do you love her Inuyasha?_

I lifted my sore eyes. My life standing in front of me.

_I just don't know anymore._

_Inuyasha!_

_Kagome left._

_We'll be together in everything, right Yashie?_

_Just because._

_You can't come in here and tell me to forget about you!_

_You're my sister!_

_I came to love you so much I could never even hope to put it in words._

_You're my sister!_

_Maybe I don't love her enough._

_You're my sister!_

_I don't want to lose you!_

_…_

_Do you love her Inuyasha?_

Her knees gave away. Her very life gave away. She let her body fall against mine, her familiar scent warming my heart. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. Her fragile form went limp against mine, her hands clenching around my heart like a second life support. My arms went around her trembling body, desperately trying to bring her closer. To bring her inside me. To be as one. My heart. My soul. My everything.

I missed her. I missed her so much! I missed her laugh. I missed her smile. I missed her voice. I missed being with her. I missed holding her. I missed being loved by her. I missed loving her. I missed telling her how much she meant to me. I missed telling her nothing would ever separate us. I missed being hers.

"Forgive me." She didn't turn to look at me. She didn't flinch. She just held me tighter, her face desperately burying itself in my chest. I didn't recognize her anymore. That girl, that beautiful cheery girl who would jump in our bed until I woke up, who would pull my ears until I stopped tickling her, who would soak me with water every morning, who would laugh at me for tripping down the stairs, was gone. "I broke my promise-"

Her finger brushed against my lips, her eyes finally clashing with mine. She had been through so much. So much in these past three years. So much more than I could ever imagine. I couldn't remember, but she could. She had to live with those memories. She had to run away from her own life. She had to suffer alone. She had to mourn on her own.

"Inuyasha-" My name whispered from her lips brought me back. Back to life. Back to her. Her eyes were so sad. So pained. They were down, dulled, dead from the loss of her life. Of my life.

"I-I didn't even get to see her Inuyasha." She held her voice high as fresh tears ran down her face, soaking the cloth covering my chest. I could feel it. I could feel her pain. I could feel it ripping my heart, sucking the blood from my veins, clenching my lungs until I couldn't breathe anymore. I loved her. God I loved them. Even if I didn't get to meet her. Even if I didn't get to hold her, or see that toothless smile, or watch her brown eyes open for the first time. I loved her with all my heart.

"I got so weak-" She trailed off brushing her face in my neck."I wasn't even s-strong enough to be there for her." I felt hot tears running down my face, my arms losing all their strength. "She died still inside me." Her silent scream was hurt. Dead. She had given up a long time ago.

Somehow, I was able to grip her tighter. I was able to lift both our bodies up. I was able to caress her cheek and place a small longing kiss on her parted lips.

_Never again._

"Which?" Our tears mingled as I brushed my face against hers, her cries getting louder at my request. She opened her once stormy eyes, not one single trait of happiness floating in them. There would never be peace in our lives again.

She took my larger hand in her trembling one. The wind was forcing us back, begging us not to search deeper in a wound that should already be healed. But we hadn't had time for that. We hadn't owned our lives.

We wandered between the small graves, hundreds of souls floating around us, helping us ease the pain. I could feel the warmth, the calmness no one dared disturb, the mourn of the families that had lost their children, their babies, their lives.

"T-They said s-she was beautiful" She whispered as her body fell in front of the small white grave, colorful flowers fallen around it distinguishing it from the others.

_Keiko Takahashi_

I fell on the hard floor, my arms crushing her against me again. She leaned her head back, resting it on my shoulder. She cried as loud as her weak lungs permitted, my hands griping her belly with all the strength I had. Why? Why hadn't I been there?

_Why Kagome?_

Why did this happen to us? Why did I lose you Kagome?

"This is yours" My tears were running down her pale skin as I pressed my head to her shoulder, watching as the brilliant gold contrasted with her white skin. Her eyes opened slightly to look down at the golden locket. Our family's locket.

"No." She let out a small smile as her shivering hands went around her neck and unlocked the golden chain. "It's hers." She lowered her head to place a small kiss in the heart-shaped locket, letting it fall to the grass surrounding the white stone. It meant our love. It meant her.

The soft wind blew her ebony hair away from her face, her eyes closing from the refreshing feeling. She leaned her head closer to my neck, her nose brushing against the hem of my shirt. It was so cold. So warm. So dark. So luminous. The last rays of light left the sky as the dusky night took their place, the shining souls going to rest. To get up the next morning. To protect another. Someone. Someone who would come to say another goodbye.

"It's so quiet." I kissed the last warm tear running down her skin, her whisper followed by a soft sigh.

"It will always be." Our eyes shifted as my hand laced with hers.

_Never again._

"It will always be."

* * *

**And here it is everyone :) I wanted to thank everyone that supported this story, from begining to end! A special thank you to** LoverOfKnowledge, nane-chan3, jellyfish'confetti, CityOfFallenAshes **and** DemonsxXxHeart, **your words meant the world to me guys!**

**I hope to see you all soon!**

**Lissome Dalliance**


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